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Groaners - post yours here

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I was lucky, mine were issue since I was aircrew. Even the prescription ones. Had a pair of 'script sunglasses pilfered from a hooch in Thailand, hope the li'l thief went cross-eyed! :cool:
 
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I do, have been for the about 2 years we dated and all 44 years we have been married. I think more should do this. My wife thankfully is not one of those like a lot of them seem to be now, I CAN OPEN MY OWN DOOR I don't need a man to do it for me. Guess what the reason is not because I think she can't do it. Glad I am not married to one of those.
 
Woman I'm chasing around gave me a look like "what are you doing" the first time I opened a door and pulled out a chair at dinner for her. Seems her ex had never done that so it was a complete surprise to be catered to.
 
Every time you talk to your wife you should remind yourself: this conversation will be recorded and used for training purposes

"Happy Wife, Happy Life.” Nothing rhymes with "Happy Husband". Get used to married life!

What's the process of applying for a job at Hooters? 

They just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out."

What do the poor have, the rich need, and if you eat it you will die? Nothing.

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
 
Army issued me glasses in basic, The specs twisted my eyes and gave me severe headaches, but the DI said I must have needed them and he forced me to wear'em. In AIT found out they had reversed the numbers when grinding the lenses. I guess the only major complaint in my term of duty.
 
Now this is a groaner...

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