• Hey Guest!
    If you enjoy BCF and find our forum a useful resource and want to ensure we can stay online...
    Please consider supporting us by **Upgrading**
    (PS: Subscribers don't see this banner)
Tips
Tips

Groaners - post yours here

Basil

Administrator
Staff member
Boss
Offline
I'll start.

If Mike Myers got an Academy Award, he'd be an Oscar Myers Winner.
 

JPSmit

Moderator
Silver
Country flag
Offline
1648409860424.png
 

JPSmit

Moderator
Silver
Country flag
Offline
1648519512684.png
 

DrEntropy

Great Pumpkin
Gold
Country flag
Offline
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

"Aye Matey”

And when he's asked: "Where's yer buccaneers?"

"On me buccin' 'ead!"
 

JPSmit

Moderator
Silver
Country flag
Offline
And when he's asked: "Where's yer buccaneers?"

"On me buccin' 'ead!"
That's funny a version of that joke randomly popped into my head just this morning.

:two! one on each side." :D

yes I can remember the joke and no, I have no idea where my keys are. :rolleyes2:
 

Popeye

Luke Skywalker
Silver
Country flag
Offline
A seaman meets a pirate in a port, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg leg?"

The pirate replies, "Aye, matey, we was in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as me men were pulling me out, a shark bit me leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook?"

"Well," replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch?"

"A sea-gull dropping fell into me eye," replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a sea-gull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

"Not exactly," said the pirate. "It was me first day with the hook."
 
OP
Basil

Basil

Administrator
Staff member
Boss
Offline

Ornothologists from the National Audubon Society have been awarded a $10 Million Grant (why not, it's only money) to study the effects of marijuana on the arctic tern.​

Dr Mortimer Snerd, the lead scientist in the study, when asked how the study was going so far replied, "it is too early to determine final results yet, but our study is going to be thorough." He added, "We are leaving no tern unstoned."
 

JPSmit

Moderator
Silver
Country flag
Offline
1648606761365.png
 

DrEntropy

Great Pumpkin
Gold
Country flag
Offline
"April showers bring May flowers."

So. What do May flowers bring?

PILGRIMS!!
 

LarryK

Obi Wan
Gold
Country flag
Offline
Allergies!
 

Popeye

Luke Skywalker
Silver
Country flag
Offline
What if March really has 32 days and April 1st is just a prank?

Remember it's April Fools' Day, not April Fool's Day. Don't be a Fool.

And one zinger more from Rodney Dangerfield, acting as an egg timer - but you'll have to look it up...
 

Gliderman8

Great Pumpkin
Gold
Country flag
Offline
Guy goes to his psychiatrist and says “doc, you gotta help me. I think I’m turning into a dog”
The psychiatrist says “Lie down on the couch and we can talk about it”
The guy says “I’m not allowed on the furniture”.
—Henny Youngman
 
Top