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The Night before Christmas

mrv8q

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This was sent by Rick Feibusch to the British Car Network:





The  Night Before Christmas
           (British car version)

'Twas the night before Christmas and out in the shed
Sat a tired old  Triumph, its battery dead.

Its fenders were rusted, the floorpan had  holes
The seats and the carpets had been eaten by voles

The tires had  dry-rot, the gas tank was leaking
A turn of the wheel sent tie rods  a-creaking.

So I put on my coat with a weight on my heart,
And went  out to the shed to get it to start.

The engine turned over--there arose  such a clatter!
I knew from the sound it was timing chain  chatter.

From under the dashboard there came a bright flash:
The  wiring harness had just turned to ash!

"I've had it with Triumphs!" I  finally swore
"Enough is too much! I can't take any more!"

When what  to my red, teary eyes should appear
But a little Englishman (hey, I might  need a beer!)

"Good Day," I heard, as he tapped my shoulder.
"I'm Joe  Lucas he said as the car continued to smolder.

"This one can be saved;  there's no reason to grieve.
All you need is some faith--Man, you've got to  believe!

"A hammer! Some duct tape! Get me more tools!
When you work on these cars you just make up the rules!
"We'll get her cranked over - no way  that she'll stall
(But stand over there with your back to the  wall.)"

A cough and a sputter, the cacophony stunning--
I couldn't  believe it! The darn thing was running!

The ghost winked at me and said,  kicking a tire,
"Whatever you do, DO NOT TOUCH THIS WIRE!"

The old man  then vanished amid sneezes and farts
But when the smoke cleared he had left me some parts.

So I opened the shed door and let the hood down
Put  her in gear and went out on the town.

And I thought to myself as I  missed second gear
Merry Christmas to All and a Happy New  Year!


submitted by Kevin Lynch of Denver, CO
 
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mrv8q

mrv8q

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My daughter had a good one, Tom, as I'm sure your kids did, as well!
 
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