In the great state of North Carolina cars over 25 years old are not subject to inspection of any kind. Except one DOT compliance [for the year it was made] inspection when you first register it, and that inspection is mainly to make sure it's not stolen. However...
Success! Sort of. I pumped the pump underwater (Thanks, Ray), and low and behold, it sucked fluid in one side and blew it out on the other. I put it back in the car, making sure no fluid drained out, and pumped the plunger. Blue fluid moved into the tubes leading to the nozzles. I continued pumping, waiting for a glorious spray on both sides of the windshield. What I got was two drops on the passenger side and maybe eight on the driver's side. I did get a little puddling on the cowl from drops that never reached the windshield. Nevertheless, I am declaring success because I took action that resulted in washer fluid being transferred to my windshield.
I also secretly admit defeat and hereby give up. But it now occurs to me why all this has happened. Back in the late 70s or early 80s my Air Force group did some flight testing for a couple weeks in the Yuma, Arizona desert in the summer. It was often 109 in the shade. Well, we had a full size Ford station wagon rental and it had some of the very first fluidic oscillator windshield washer nozzles. We discovered at a stoplight one day that they were designed to be used at speed. Because when we turned them on while we were stationary they hosed down the car behind us and the cars on either side of us. Well, being trained engineers, we recognized this as data and made a note of it.
The data was processed and led to the development of a strategy intended for every member of our group that was not in the car at the stoplight during the data discovery phase. The strategy was employed during lunch breaks when most of us were sitting in idling rental cars with the A/C cranked up. The process was to call a passerby over to either front door window under the pretense of wanting to ask a question. When they bent down to receive the inquiry, the washer would be activated and the victim would take a fluid blast in the face and ear. This worked without fail until everyone in the group had been victimized and knew better than to go anywhere near the Ford.
So, since I was a participant in, if not the instigator of, the development of the windshield washer ear wash strategy, I believe Karma was just waiting for an opportunity to even the score in the realm of windshield washer systems.
Thanks, everyone. I think we can put this one to bed.
Ken