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A man is walking down the street with his pet giraffe, when it collapses and expires. It's too heavy for him to move alone, so he decides to go get some help. As he's leaving, a woman calls out to him, "Hey! You can't just leave that lyin' there!" He replies...

"That's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"
 
From the AutoMobila Resource newsletter:

Her car was running rough, so she took it to the garage...

A few days later the mechanic called and said it was ready to pick up. She went to the garage and started the car and it was running great. She asked, "What was wrong, how did you fix it?"

The mechanic replied, "Oh, just crap in the carburetor."

She paused, sighed, and then asked somewhat petulantly, "Well, how often do I have to do that?!?"
 
Basil said:
Target is having a special - jeans half off!

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Hilarious. I recall a number of years ago hearing a TV comedian talking about being in the store and the sales person says 'bras are half off.' and he replied - 'they should be all off' - and the poor sales person did not get it. :D
 
I went shopping today for camouflage pants but I couldn’t find any.
 
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