Expecting

[Basil]

I called the doctor "My wife is going into labor! What should I do?"


"Is this her first child?" he asked.


"No, this is her husband."

 

[Deleted member 8987]

Henny Youngman, third book of jokes, 1959, page...42?

 

[NutmegCT]

Take my wife ... *please!*

 

[AngliaGT]

Oh - that Henny Youngman.

 

[Mickey Richaud]

'Nother one: Guy walks up to the hotel desk. Clerk says, "Check your bag?"
Guy says, "I dunno - I'll ask her."

 

[NutmegCT]

And of course ...

"Who was that lady I saw you with last night?"

"That was no lady. That was my wife."

 

[Gliderman8]

 

[pdplot]

When comedians were funny. Now vulgar and stupid.

 

[Basil]

When comedians were funny. Now vulgar and stupid.

 

[mikephillips]

How about,
"I'd like to introduce you to my second wife but I'm still on my first"...

I forget who I heard say this once in a comedy routine

 

[pdplot]

My wife said "take me to some exotic place I've never been".
I said "How about the kitchen?"
Rim Shot.