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Conundrum.... advice?

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DrEntropy

DrEntropy

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Scenerio:

Horsemits doesn't like doin' dishes, so we have a dishwasher.

She roasted a chicken in a large enamel roaster in the oven a couple days back, we ate well for two evenings off'n it. Roaster had some bird bits well stuck onna bottom, dishwasher will NOT clean this (from prior experience) out of the pan.

Under “normal” conditions the bird woulda been grilled outdoors under my supervision with a beer can shoved up its, erm, innards but we've lately hit some 'issues' with the BBQ grill: The burners are steel, two years old, well used and now rusted and fragile. A resident raccoon has determined there's ~something~ in there he really-REALLY wants, so has reached up into the unit from the underside and completely trashed the burner assemblies.

I go to brew up this AM and find Herself has placed the pan in the sink... full of water and dish soap. I do th' workaround and fill the brew pot on the other side of the sink. She leaves for the office and I now stare at a roasting pan needing augerin' out and scrubbed instead of a nice clean kitchen. Did I mention I'm kinda anal about my kitchen?

Anyhow... I get to scrub the cooker. I hate scrubbing pots.

This is where I need council... Should I:

One:
A) Shoot th' raccoon.
B) Replace the grill burner assembly with stainless ones.
C)Grill outdoors and thus avoid pot scrubbing.


Two:
A) Replace burners with stainless and install metal grate on the bottom to deny the raccoon access.
B) Disguise roaster as a parts washer inna garage.
C) Grill outdoors and thus avoid pot scrubbing.

Three:
A) Replace burners with stainless.
B) Grill outdoors and thus avoid pot scrubbing.
C) Leave a Peace Offering of whatever we grill to keep th' beast out of the BBQ.

Four:
A) Shoot Horsemits, replace BBQ burner assembly with stainless.
B) Grill outdoors and thus avoid pot scrubbing.
C) Share Her portion with the raccoon.

Any advice appreciated.

Did I mention I ~HATE~ scrubbing pots? :madder:
 
Some time ago I decided to give up on cheap grilles and bite the bullet. I bought a bottom-line Weber gas grill and used it until it's burners finally rusted out.

<span style="text-decoration: underline">That took 19 years!</span> The burner outlasted 2 sets of "flavorizer bars" (heat diffusers) and 3 sets of grill tops. I finally had to buy a new one last year, only because the cost of new grill tops, "flavorizer bars", and the burner (all needed this time) were almost as much as a new grill anyway. (This one, unlike the last, was sadly not made in the U.S.A.)

I've never had any trouble with critters getting into the Weber grill. The bottom slot is too narrow and the lid is too heavy for anything to get inside and make trouble. I shopped every brand last year before I bought a new Weber, just in case. I still haven't seen anything else on the market that will beat it. :cooler:
 
You pose some very profound questions doc.

First, I would replace the gas clunker with a Webber charcoal grill. No parts to go bad, nothing to replace.

Second, get some aluminum throw-away pans... no scrubbing.

Third, invite the varmint over for dinner. Offer him enough wine to get him tipsy then the old Louisville slugger in the back of the head, and you have yourself a pair of slippers :hammer:
 
If Horsemitts reads that #4 on your list,'tis yourself that will be sharing with the coon outside the hovel,alongside the grill,Doc. :devilgrin: :jester:


Stuart. :cheers:
 
That may well be, Stew. Iff'n 'twern't so bloody cold outdoors just now me an' that raccooon could be "bonding"... and I ~have~ a Webber charcoal grill in reserve. :wink:

On further investigation I've found even MORE deception! Bowin' to my (scant) better nature, to preserve domestic tranquility <span style="font-style: italic">and unable to locate my down sleepin' bag</span> I dutifully went to th' sink to scrub th' awful thing... lookin' beneath it what do I find but an aluminium cookie sheet under there, baked on potato leavins 'n cookin' oil burnt on! Hoodwink'd into TWO scummy jobs! :shocked:

Devious wench!!! :devilgrin: :jester:
 
Five:
A) Suck it up! Be a man.
B) Scrub the pot.
C) get over it.

m
 
I humbly submit option #6:
1)Don't clean pot, put it in the grill.
2)Rig grill so lid will slam shut when 'coon goes in to snack on morsels.
3)Rig grill to auto ignite when said lid shuts.
4) It's Christmas time, go buy yerself a new grill and Smits a Silverstone non-stick pot. Thus singlehandedly jump-starting the economy.
 
> First of all, be nice to the girl, she helps pay the rent.

> Don't scrub the pot, just rinse it out, boil some water in it, empty it, and COOK!

Or, what GREG says, above. Good advice.

Doc, you <span style="font-style: italic">think</span> too much . . . :lol: :yesnod:
 
GregW said:
I humbly submit option #6:
1)Don't clean pot, put it in the grill.
2)Rig grill so lid will slam shut when 'coon goes in to snack on morsels.
3)Rig grill to auto ignite when said lid shuts.
4) It's Christmas time, go buy yerself a new grill and Smits a Silverstone non-stick pot. Thus singlehandedly jump-starting the economy.
Click to expand...

And ya get to have grilled coon for dinner!!!


i like it!


m
 
Okay, okay... th' deed's done, I took option Five. Kitchen meets inspection standards now. The raccoon is still alive, I'll sleep at Her feet.

*sheesh*


I'm turnin' into a wimp. It's all YOUSE-guys' fault! :jester:

...I'll consider this "Silverstone" thingie.

BTW: Th' only really HELPFUL feedback wuz Elliot's recipe link. Thank you, Sir. :laugh:
 
<span style="font-style: italic">Docky Racoon</span> is on the menu :devilgrin:
 
I like any option that includes shooting something!
 
:lol:

I kind think that, too, Tony. :devilgrin:
 
Son, I'da dun had that thar critter cooked down already !!!

Gotta cut that glands out or else it ruined.

Racoon is an African word for "BIG azz squirrel" and you can get $15-$20 bucks for one cleaned down here. Gotta leave on foot awn so they know yew aint sellin' 'em housecat.

Shot one at close range once w/ my .40 and some cheap ball ammo. Took 'em a while to drop out. Pretty tough critters, so pack accordingly.

Gotta watch that thin steel cookware, it'll burn solid on ya. If cookin' it w/ water don't work, try easy-off oven cleaner.
 
Doc, why not some form of media blasting to clean the pot. It'll take off paint and rust, so is old food chuncks tougher than paint?
If no media blaster available, try a pressure washer. Maybe apply a little oven cleaner to soften the leavin's first.
Or.... some PB blaster - WD40.
Or... try freezing the whole thing and remove the unwanted parts with an ice pick or stiff putty knife.
Or.... a rotary wire brush.
Or...hire a maid.
 
Heard that, too.
 
'iz true.

Blastin' it'll lift th' 'namel... that "broiler" is history.

We're movin' on. I figger th' 'coon's a pal, he raized th' grill burners an' made it possible to NEED th' stainless ones. Once those are in place th' pot issue becomes moot.

...and ~I~ cook meals wifout th' need to clean pots again for at least a decade.

It's ALL good! :thumbsup:
 
Oh carp...I'm TOAST....
 
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