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Blind dates? Love connections or .......

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Bret

Bret

Yoda
Offline
...... Spanish Inquisition?

Ok I’ve talked to this one girl for about a week now in emails & over the phone and she’s talking about meeting for lunch this week. A mutual friend kind of set us up (twisted my arm actually) and had been bugging me to meet this gal for months, but I just wasn’t ready for that until about two weeks ago when I gave in. But now having talked to her, surprisingly enough we do seem to have a lot in common.

Anyway, I’ve seen pics of her and will admit she’s pretty nice looking – no wait, that’s not true – she’s actually gorgeous & frankly I’m a little intimidated. There I said it! Now I can only assume she’s seen pics of me too – but knowing my friend’s better half – she probably knows “EVERYTHING” about me.

Emotionally I guess I’m ready & have actually been out a few times since I broke up, so I ain’t worried about the dreaded “rebound” thing. Nothing serious has happened, just had one gal that tried to get a little clingy (Stalker) after she totally misread (ignored actually) the signals I was putting out. Others were friendly and kept things pretty much uncomplicated & casual.

But other than that I’ve been just trudging along & dealing with kids & family issues, working on my car projects and dealing with work issues. You know - normal everyday life stuff.

Honestly I don’t know how I’m going to do when I meet this gal – guess I’m just a little nervous.
 
Bret, speaking as a normal guy I would rate you as better-looking than most. Not that I am an authority of course, but that's my observation.

Secondly, you are intelligent, you have interests, hobbies, and certainly seem comfortable holding a conversation on any level and any subject.

If she has heard a bio of you already, seen pictures of you, and is still interested enough to meet you, she may well be feeling as nervous and as intimidated as you are.

Have fun, relax, enjoy, and you'll be fine! I understand the trepidation, and if the situation were reversed I would be feeling the same way.

And if she likes LBCs you'll know that it's a match made in heaven!!!!! /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif

Updates on your progress will be expected however, now that we know what's going on........We are all in your corner.
 
bret, steve nailed it all down for you, just be yourself and enjoy, i will hesitate giving any further advice since im into my third marriage. /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif
 
Well, before we can give any advice...WE NEED PHOTOS!! hehehehe
 
Can't improve on Steve's comments but could maybe - sort of - summarize them by urging you to lighten up a little. The fate of civilization, or even your own fate, doesn't hang on this relationship. Keep it in perspective.
 
Oh Crap!?!?! /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek.gif She just emailed me and asked if we could meet for lunch today!?!?
 
Bret, a ton of my single friends (ages 35-55) are using web-based dating services to find dates. "Match.com" is used by tens of thousands of people all over the place. It's amazing how many people use it.

Folks post a "resume" with photos and lifestyle/personal info on the website posting board to advertise themselves to interested parties. Then, you can email the person and arrange a date, or whatever. Of course, there is a lot of exaggerating with the personal info, some of it blatant lies. Seems stupid to do so, seems that any reasonably intelligent person could figure out if you lied about wealth, etc. Oh well, it <u>is</u> the internet.

I'm glad I'm not playing the field anymore, it would be tough, I think. I married relatively late (age 36) in life and had quite enough of the singles scene. But, I'd probably use an internet dating service like Match if I were single. Seems like a win-win, and a heckuva lot easier than the old way to find dates.

And, FWIW I tended to stay away from the really good looking women. They often were more trouble than others: some, a <u>lot</u> more trouble.

Watch out . . . and good luck to you!!! Everyone deserves at least one good marriage! /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/angel.gif
 
Well it's set for 11:30 this morning at a little restaurant on HWY 101 in Cardiff by the Sea.

Oh & Mark,

Yes I've looked into those dating services and have heard good things about them too. Lots of pre-screening goes into them before a potential match is ever introduced to you. Then its up to you to look at their profile and their personality evaluation based on hundreds of questions and decide if you want to open communication with them.

Now I realize it’s a lot more sophisticated than this but I’m not sure I feel comfortable with my next mate being based on the results of a bunch of punch cards feed into a computer. But I’ve heard they are pretty safe and as you said beats the old way of finding dates.
 
Bret, when 11:30 PST comes around, I shall stop what I am doing for a moment and have some encouraging thoughts. /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif

I sincerely hope that all goes well, and I echo Tony's request....we need PHOTOS!! /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/devilgrin.gif
 
Bret said:
I’m not sure I feel comfortable with my next mate being based on the results of a bunch of punch cards feed into a computer.
Click to expand...

I am sure that they no longer use punch cards... /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif

But just relax and go in with no expectations. I already knew my current wife when we first went out after the first marriage exploded. We had gone to elementary school together so I had NO attraction and just wanted to get out. Very quickly I found there was an attraction, but I think the relaxed atmosphere helped that develop.

Have a great lunch, and just be yourself.
 
At this time you should be already out at lunch with her. Good luck!

I met my wife (of 5 years now) on a blind date. I had gotten to the point where I truly didn't care anymore what the outcome would be. It was just a lunch or dinner or whatever. No pressure, no worries. These things work out, or they don't. (How's that for the sage advice of a 34 year-old).

As was said before, be yourself. If she likes that, all the better. If she doesn't, well, that's good to know up front as well. /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif
 
Ok things went great! Kind'a clumsy & ocward at first, but once that passed things got rolling. So now we're going to make some plans for later this week to see if things progress. Dinner and/or a movie maybe, don't know yet we'll see. Anyway we talked about kids, likes & dislikes, our lives in general - you know typicl intro "chit chat". But I only divulged things when asked to avoid talking about myself too much and she seemed to be following the same guidelines too. Anyway she’s a pretty sweet gal and I definitely wouldn’t mind getting to know her more.


BTW She’s a redhead (strawberry blond-ish?) and while I’ve never had anything but bad luck with redheads, I’ve always had a thing for them & found them quite “spirited” in everything they do.
 
Good on yer Bret!!!

You know, I met my wife after a friend of hers decided that we would be perfect for each other. We will have been married twenty-five years as of December of this year, and she's still my best friend! /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif
 
Steve said:
Good on yer Bret!!!

You know, I met my wife after a friend of hers decided that we would be perfect for each other. We will have been married twenty-five years as of December of this year, and she's still my best friend! /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif
Click to expand...

You too?? My Buddies wife decided Rockette and I were a
perfect match, we've been "together" for 25 years, married
for 22... I refused to marry until she finished college...

Steve(hi skool gragiate)L
 
Big question: Is she willing to work with you in the garage?
 
What would you call it if she was actually blind? A blind, blind date?
 
I've come into this thread a bit late for any advice, but all I would have told you is to have a cuppa simmerdown and things will be fine. You underestimate yourself.

You're above-average good-looking. You are funny, bright, witty, warm, considerate and loyal to family and friends. A dedicated father. Hard working. Stable. Other than your *illness,* you have a lot to offer into a relationship.

Plan a date, pick her up in the B. Something fun and light and adventurous - might as well test her sooner than later. Were it me, I'd prolly sabotage a fuel pump or something minor that might require a 30 minute roadside fix - to really test her. If she passes, she is worthy of Date #2. If she fails, she best be darned gorgeous...

You don't need a dating service. Trust me on this one, woman's intuition.

FYI, Chuck and I were blind dates. We were both doing our friends (that were dating) a BIG favor. 35 years later. Also Brian (my son) and his wife were blind dates and have been together 8 years.

Be yourself, lighten up, buckle up and hang on for the ride! You'll find you enjoy it.
 
Brett,

That's a scary thing - asking us for advice on your
love life!
Hope things go well for you.

- Doug
 
I too met my wife on a blind date 49 years ago.
 
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