JamesWilson
Yoda

Offline
You know you drive a beater if:
<ul type="square">
[*]Your rear fenders have lots of dings OUTWARD from tools and spare parts flying around in the trunk when you corner.
[*]You car has the "keyless entry" feature. Both locks are broken and unusable.
[*]You double the book value of your car when you fill the tank.
[*]Nobody wants to steal it or even brush up against it.
[*]It was stolen once and found two blocks way, on the same street.
[*]Curbs are minor inconveniences and in no way limit the paved surfaces your car has access to.
[*]You drive through an exclusive section of town the cops ALWAYS follow you.
[*]Your car uses more "other" fluids than gasoline.
[*]You think you can get "another hundred thousand out of it easy".
[*]After a minor fender bender with lamp post some stuff that was stuck or broken starts working again.
[*]It was broken into but nothing was taken.
[*]You don't need a change holder because coins stick to the vinyl repair tape on the seats.
[*]You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year-old on a moped.
[*]You cross your fingers every time you try to start the car.
[*]While waiting at a stoplight, people run up asking if anyone was hurt.
[*]Traffic reporters are starting to refer to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.
[*]You judge suitable parking spaces by the degree of downhill slope.
[*]You have the local towing company on speed-dial.
[*]The engine catches fire and you don't notice anything wrong until the firetruck pulls you over.
[*]Your entire car isn't worth the minimum insurance deductible.
[*]The city sends you a notice requesting that you remove the 'abandoned vehicle' from your driveway.
[*]Every time you start your car, the smog index jumps a whole point.
[*]The 8-track tape deck finally eats your last tape.
[*]If something sounds funny, you turn up the radio real loud until you get home.
[*]You wait until the car is running before you fasten your seatbelt.
[*]You pull off the road to pick up the homeless psychopathic hitchhiker and he just gets wide-eyed and says "Uuhh, no way man..."
[/list]
and the best:
You give it away when you are done with it.
You CAN'T give it away when you are done with it.
<ul type="square">
[*]Your rear fenders have lots of dings OUTWARD from tools and spare parts flying around in the trunk when you corner.
[*]You car has the "keyless entry" feature. Both locks are broken and unusable.
[*]You double the book value of your car when you fill the tank.
[*]Nobody wants to steal it or even brush up against it.
[*]It was stolen once and found two blocks way, on the same street.
[*]Curbs are minor inconveniences and in no way limit the paved surfaces your car has access to.
[*]You drive through an exclusive section of town the cops ALWAYS follow you.
[*]Your car uses more "other" fluids than gasoline.
[*]You think you can get "another hundred thousand out of it easy".
[*]After a minor fender bender with lamp post some stuff that was stuck or broken starts working again.
[*]It was broken into but nothing was taken.
[*]You don't need a change holder because coins stick to the vinyl repair tape on the seats.
[*]You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year-old on a moped.
[*]You cross your fingers every time you try to start the car.
[*]While waiting at a stoplight, people run up asking if anyone was hurt.
[*]Traffic reporters are starting to refer to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.
[*]You judge suitable parking spaces by the degree of downhill slope.
[*]You have the local towing company on speed-dial.
[*]The engine catches fire and you don't notice anything wrong until the firetruck pulls you over.
[*]Your entire car isn't worth the minimum insurance deductible.
[*]The city sends you a notice requesting that you remove the 'abandoned vehicle' from your driveway.
[*]Every time you start your car, the smog index jumps a whole point.
[*]The 8-track tape deck finally eats your last tape.
[*]If something sounds funny, you turn up the radio real loud until you get home.
[*]You wait until the car is running before you fasten your seatbelt.
[*]You pull off the road to pick up the homeless psychopathic hitchhiker and he just gets wide-eyed and says "Uuhh, no way man..."
[/list]
and the best:
You give it away when you are done with it.
You CAN'T give it away when you are done with it.