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WITH CHRISTMAS APPROACHING

duffy

Senior Member
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With Christmas approaching I am pleased to present the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.

<span style="color: #FF0000">WARNING DO NOT LET CHILDREN READ THIS FOR THE ATTENTION OF GROWNUPS ONLY.</span>


*1> No known species of reindeer can fly BUT there are over 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.


*2> There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Jewish and Buddhist children, that then reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.3 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

*3> Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the Earth, as assuming he travels East to West (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1,000,000 of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat what ever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the Earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc.

*5> This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on Earth, the Ulysses Space Probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

*6> The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium - sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeers" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with 8, or even 9. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is 4 times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

*7> 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the Earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporised within 4.26 thousands of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.










In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
 
Darn!! and here I still believed,
 
weewillie, he does exist, ive seen him in my youth, of course hes not 250 lbs., and shorter then his pictures and paintings, kinda smells and sounds like my grandfather, but i still believe!
 
Ah, very interesting, but it ignores the "Scotch Factor": assuming that 1 in 10 of the households leaves a wee dram out for Santa instead of the traditional milk & cookies by the time he's done only one or two neighbourhoods he'll be too drunk to continue. Even if it's only 1 per 100 he'll soon be "aglow" with good cheer....

I'm leave a goodly wee dram for a hard working man.... :devilgrin: :jester:
 
Go ahead, Grinch, ruin all our hopes & dreams!!
 
anthony7777 said:
weewillie, he does exist, ive seen him in my youth, of course hes not 250 lbs., and shorter then his pictures and paintings, kinda smells and sounds like my grandfather, but i still believe!

Oh good 'cause I hear that when you stop believing you stop getting and I don't want that to happen as I need more socks and underwear :crazyeyes:
 
JamesWilson said:
I'm leave a goodly wee dram for a hard working man.... :devilgrin: :jester:

Me too James, a nice tumbler of Black Bush(just to take away the chills on a cold winters night) :thumbsup:
 
Now, this is a fine argument for coexisting dimensions. Who is to say that he does not live in a parallel universe, where he can control the time/space continuim and "pops" into ours when he wants to.

Also explains, other anomalies, like the Portugese girls sighting of the Holy Mother, etc...
 
Santa Claus DOES exist! His 10th great grand nephew was none other than Montgomery Scott. And just who do you think first said: "Beam me up!"
 
tony barnhill said:
Go ahead, Grinch, ruin all our hopes & dreams!!

"You're a mean one, Mr Grinch!" :whistle:
 
I just love this! This year I am having my students actually research the statistics on line to see if they can figure some of this out. I figure they can find the land area of earth, population statistics on number of Christian households, time zones and total travel time etc. I figured it would be a great exercise in locating information on the web. Then I would show them this..... we'll see.
 
LEARNING TOOLS & STATISTICS ASIDE ask anyone in my family including my husband........I'M SANTA..........but how did this happen???????? :wall:
 
Randi said:
LEARNING TOOLS & STATISTICS ASIDE ask anyone in my family including my husband........I'M SANTA..........but how did this happen???????? :wall:

We just voted for you and you got yourself elected!

(not a political comment)
 
Did you ever notice the difference between Santa and Satan is a typo?? LoL
 
Silverghost said:
Did you ever notice the difference between Santa and Satan is a typo?? LoL
No, hehehe, a typo does not the difference between good & bad make!
 
tony barnhill said:
No, hehehe, a typo does not the difference between good & bad make!
Unless it happens to be in a corporate email.
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Did I just send <span style="font-style: italic">that</span>?
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