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Why men prefer dogs

maynard

Jedi Warrior
Offline
Reasons Why Men Prefer Dogs Over Women




1.Dogs love it when your friends come over.
2. Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo.
3. Dogs think you sing great.
4. Dogs don’t cry.
5. A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
6. Dogs don’t expect you to call when you are running late.
7.The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
8. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
9. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
10. Dogs are excited by rough play.
11. Dogs don’t mind if you give their offspring away.
12. Dogs love red meat.
13. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
14. Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
15. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.
16. Dogs don’t shop.
17. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
18. A dog’s disposition stays the same all month long.
19. Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
20. A dog’s parents never visit.
21. Dogs love long car trips.
22. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
24. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
25. Dogs like beer.
26. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
27. No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.
28. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
29. Dogs never criticise.
30. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
31. Dogs never expect gifts.
32. It’s legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
33. Dogs don’t want to know about every other dog you ever had.
34. Dogs like to do their snooping outside, as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
35. Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.
36. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster
one.
37. You never have to wait for a dog. They’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
38. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
39. Dogs don’t borrow your shirts.
40. Dogs never want foot-rubs.
41. Dogs can’t talk.
42. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk
 

Madflyer

Jedi Warrior
Offline
Puppies are chick magnets, so us old dogs don't care. And who does not like a good back scratch anyway. Madflyer
 

Madflyer

Jedi Warrior
Offline
We have had English Setters for many years only two puppies all the rest have been rescues dogs returned to breeder etc. looking for a new home. The above Thread it so true. One was so laid back I told my wife I was going to make him a working dog and shave WELCOME on one side. Another carried his blanket around to lay on. And the one our friends still talk about was on a visit our dog tried to sit between him and his wife. Madflyer
 

JPSmit

Moderator
Staff member
Silver
Offline
I thought we were going here - another of my very favourites

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying: "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big heist, then began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he hears: "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the
voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot squawked: "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

The bird replies: "The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."
 
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