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When Insults Had Class

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Bugeye58

Yoda
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When Insults Had Class.


"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

-- Winston Churchill



"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."

-- Winston Churchill



"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

-- Clarence Darrow



"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)



"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"

-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)



"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."

-- Moses Hadas



"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."

-- Abraham Lincoln



"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

-- Groucho Marx



"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

-- Mark Twain



"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

-- Oscar Wilde



"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend... if you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill



"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."

-- Winston Churchill, in response



"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

-- Stephen Bishop



"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

-- John Bright



"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

-- Irvin S. Cobb



"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."

-- Samuel Johnson



"He had delusions of adequacy."

-- Walter Kerr



"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." -

- Jack E. Leonard



"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."

-- Robert Redford



"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."

-- Thomas Brackett Reed



"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." -- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)



"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."

-- Charles, Count Talleyrand



"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."

-- Forrest Tucker



"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

-- Mark Twain



"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

-- Mae West



"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

-- Oscar Wilde



"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."

-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)



"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

-- Billy Wilder

Jeff
 
YES! A lost art that needs to be rediscovered. I pledge to do my part. /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif

Thank, Jeff!

Mickey
 
Bugeye58 said:
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

-- Irvin S. Cobb
Click to expand...

I have to wonder if this wasn't the source for a line in Fawlty Towers (Gourmet Night):

SYBIL: "Guess who just cancelled?"

BASIL: "Who?"

SYBIL: "The Coosters"

BASIL: "What, all four!!?"

SYBIL: "One of them's ill"

BASIL: "Well lets hope its nothing trivial!"
 
Thanks for that....I have a few of Churchill's finest to add, if I may.

"Occasionally he stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up as if nothing had happened".

"He is the only bull I know who carries his own china closet with him".

"Halifax's virtues have done more harm than the vices of hundreds of other people".

"He was the only man on either side who could lose the war in an afternoon."

Lady Astor: "Winston, if I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee."

"Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."
 
and when asked by a woman the difference between men and women he answered Madam I can't conceive.
 
And when told he was drunk He replied " Yes and your ugly, and in the morning I'll be sober"
 
Churchill is always good.

I also like Dorothy Parker:

“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”

“If you want to see what God thinks of money, just look at all the people He gave it to.”

'When told that a certain woman would not hurt a fly Dorothy Parker retorted, "Not if it was buttoned up”'


“I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it isn't true.”
 
For me, the ultimate putdown:

"I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes,

And just for that one moment I could be you.

Yes, I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes;

You'd know what a drag it is to see you."

Bob Dylan, "Positively 4th St."
 
"He deprives us of solitude without providing company."

A. Nony Mouse
 
Bugeye58 said:
Basil said:
I think I work with a few people like that!
Click to expand...

Don't we all, boss.
Jeff
Click to expand...

When I first went to work at my current company, I was warned about one of my co-workers:

"He's a really nice guy, and very smart, but he's one of those fellows who, if you ask him what time it is, will tell you how to build a clock" /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif
 
Here in the South, we just add ...."bless his heart" or "bless her heart" to the end of any insult to make it sound like we care.

"Why, she isn't very bright, but is so very homley....bless her heart."

/bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif
 
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