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What Men Really Mean...

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My wife sent me this, I wonder why?


WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN WHEN THEY SAY...


"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"NO YOUR BOTTOM DOESN'T LOOK BIG IN THAT"
Means: "Oh yes it does! But I'm sure NOT going to say so after telling the truth that last time..."

"LETS BARBEQUE!"
Means: "You do all the preparation and work. I'll stand around with a can of beer BS'ing with the guys, watching the burgers burn...."
 
how true and I thought it was just me, boy I am glad i am not alone.
 
And don't forgetwhen they say "We need to talk".
- "I heard you" might not be the right answer.

- Doug
 
Are you sure MY wife didn't send that?? /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif
 
They missed my old standby. "Trust me, it's perfectly safe." Which translates into go ahead and punch 911 into the phone, we're going to need it.
 
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