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tahoe healey
Yoda
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Subject: The Thermodynamics of heck
>
> The following is an actual question given on a University of
> Washington
> chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that
> the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is,
> of
> course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
>
> Bonus Question: Is heck exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
> (absorbs heat)?
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
> (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
> variant.
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> "First, we need to know how the mass of heck is changing in time. So
> we
> need to know the rate at which souls are moving into heck and the rate
> at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
> once
> a soul gets to heck, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
> leaving.
>
> As for how many souls are entering heck, let's look at the different
> religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions
> state
> that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to heck.
> Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do
> not
> belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls will
> go
> to heck.
>
> With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
> souls in heck to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
> change of the volume in heck because Boyle's Law states that in order
> for the temperature and pressure in heck to stay the same, the volume
> of
> heck has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1) If heck is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
> enter heck, then the temperature and pressure in heck will increase
> until all heck breaks loose.
>
> 2) If heck is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
> in
> heck, then the temperature and pressure will drop until heck freezes
> over.
>
> So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
> during
> my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in heck before I sleep
> with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not
> succeeded in having an affair with her, then #2 above cannot be true,
> and thus I am sure that heck is exothermic and will not freeze over."
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
>
>
>
>
>
> The following is an actual question given on a University of
> Washington
> chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that
> the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is,
> of
> course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
>
> Bonus Question: Is heck exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
> (absorbs heat)?
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
> (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
> variant.
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> "First, we need to know how the mass of heck is changing in time. So
> we
> need to know the rate at which souls are moving into heck and the rate
> at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
> once
> a soul gets to heck, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
> leaving.
>
> As for how many souls are entering heck, let's look at the different
> religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions
> state
> that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to heck.
> Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do
> not
> belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls will
> go
> to heck.
>
> With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
> souls in heck to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
> change of the volume in heck because Boyle's Law states that in order
> for the temperature and pressure in heck to stay the same, the volume
> of
> heck has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1) If heck is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
> enter heck, then the temperature and pressure in heck will increase
> until all heck breaks loose.
>
> 2) If heck is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
> in
> heck, then the temperature and pressure will drop until heck freezes
> over.
>
> So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
> during
> my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in heck before I sleep
> with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not
> succeeded in having an affair with her, then #2 above cannot be true,
> and thus I am sure that heck is exothermic and will not freeze over."
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
>
>
>
>
