The Scourge of Lucas

[Michael Oritt]

I am generally not a Lucas-basher but this is good:

"The Scourge of Lucas" (sung to "The Sounds of Silence" by Paul Simon)

Hello darkness my old friend
I’ve come to sit in you again
Because a wire softly loosening
Left its place while I was cruising
And my vision, that was guided by its light
Gave way to night
Thanks to the Scourge of Lucas

So many nights I’ve worked ’til dawn
Trying to find out what went wrong
’Neath the halo of a street lamp
I’ve jiggled wires ’til my fingers cramp
And my arms are scarred from the bright sparks that split the air
And singed my hair
Thanks to the Scourge of Lucas

And in the sparking light I saw
10,000 MGs maybe more.
Engines cranking without starting
Switches clicking without switching
People starting drives that ended in a tow
And dreams laid low
Thanks to the Scourge of Lucas.

Fools say I do not know
How to fix a dynamo
Under the dash I can’t quite reach you
Despite my cursing that I’ll teach you
But my words, like burned-out lightbulbs fell
Into the ****
Of Lucas

And the experts bowed and prayed
To the manuals that they’d made
And the manuals gave dire warning
About the hazards of most everything
But the words of those prophets gave not one single clue
What I could do
To end the Scourge of Lucas=


Courtesy of Ted Lane, Mini and Corvair owner
BMC/SNJ member
Newfield, NJ

 

[Keoke]

That was good Michael,thanks for posting.

 

[pan]

Michael, I don't like to hear criticism of Lucas either, but this is so clever!