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The International Council of Man Laws.

Steve

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Definitive Reulations..........

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.

3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.

4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

8: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

9: You may break wind in front of a woman only after you have known her for a minimum of six months. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your girlfriend.

10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a gorgeous woman, and only when it's free.

11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

12: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

13: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

14: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

15: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

18: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

19: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding "rights" pending your response.

20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

21: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

22: Thou shall not buy a car in any shade of brown, pink, lime, green, orange, purple or sky blue.

24: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox 360. End of story.

25: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

I hope that this clears up any confusion.
 
Steve said:
5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden.

But their beer IS Horse... /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif

Cheap, nasty stuff... AND its WEAK. /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/hammer.gif

They keep the good stuff for themselves... /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/cheers.gif

and laugh about it! /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/devilgrin.gif /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/jester.gif



Don't ask me how I know... /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif
 
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