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The Bridge

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BabaKahawa

BabaKahawa

Jedi Knight
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 <span style="font-weight: bold">The Bridge</span>

A man in his Healey was driving along the California coast when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The driver pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to  Hawaii  so I
can ride over anytime I want.' 

God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take!  I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.  Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind.'

The driver thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that I , and all men,  could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly  happy.

                                                                
 God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
 
 
On ski trips to Vermont, we used to play a game where we would say the punchline of a joke only.
Two of my favorites: "Would you believe it - I'm waiting for a train". and "If that towel dries up soft, I'm gonna shave with it".
 
"Beige, I think I'll paint the ceiling beige." :cool:
 
pdplot said:
On ski trips to Vermont, we used to play a game where we would say the punchline of a joke only.
Two of my favorites: "Would you believe it - I'm waiting for a train". and "If that towel dries up soft, I'm gonna shave with it".
Click to expand...
...ok you piqued my curiosity! (Or are the jokes not the right materials for polite audiences?)
 
In my case, yes... not a joke to probably post here. :smile:
 
Popeye said:
...ok you piqued my curiosity! (Or are the jokes not the right materials for polite audiences?)
Click to expand...
Well mine is acceptable.

A man goes to prison and the first night while he's laying in bed contemplating his situation, he hears someone yell out, "44!" Followed by laughter from the other prisoners.

He thought that was pretty odd, then he heard someone else yell out, "72!" Followed by even more laughter.

"What's going on?" he asked his cellmate.

"Well, we've all heard every joke so many times, we've given them each a number to make it easier."

"Oh," he says, "can I try?"

"Sure, go ahead."

So, he yells out "48!" and the place is dead quiet save for a few groans. Confused, he looks at his cellmate who is just shaking his head.

"Hey, what happened?"

"Well, some people just can't tell a joke."
 
Woman calls a contractor to come over and check out a problem. Every time a train goes by, the bedroom shakes. He comes over and enters the bedroom. A train comes by and he doesn't notice anything. She tells him you can only feel it in the bed. He crawls into bed with her and waits. Husband comes home, enters the bedroom and sees the contractor in bed with his wife. Husband demands to know what's going on. Contractor says "Would you believe it, I'm waiting for a train."

Second joke is not politically correct. Leroy Brown comes home and finds wife in bed, covers messed up and a towel with a large wet spot lying on the bed. He goes into the bathroom and comes back with a straight razor. You can finish the joke.
 
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