Sunday Funnies

[Mickey Richaud]

A preacher, who was a bit humor-impaired, attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry. Among the speakers were many well-known and dynamic individuals. One boldly approached the podium and, gathering the crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother." The crowd burst into laughter, and he delivered the rest of his talk, which went over quite well.

The next week, the pastor decided he'd give this humor thing a try, and use that joke in his sermon. As he confidently approached the pulpit that Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him. Getting to the microphone, he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The congregation inhaled half the air in the room. After standing there for almost ten seconds in the stunned silence, trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, "...and I can't remember who she was!"

 

[bugimike]

/bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gifI'm forwarding that one to a few people!!! (including my Mum!) /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/thumbsup.gif

 

[Nunyas]

lol

 

[PAUL161]

Church Squirrels;

There were five country churches in a small Texas town.

The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church, the Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue. Each church was over run with pesky squirrels.

One day the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do with the pesky squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they determined that the squirrels were destined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with Gods divine will.

In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover over the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the following week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were in no position to harm any of Gods creations. So they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles out of town. Three days later they were back.

The Catholic Church came up with what turned out to be an effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and made them a member of the church and now only see them on Easter and Christmas.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but it was later heard that they took one squirrel and had a short service with him, called a circumcision. Since that time, they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

See, there's a solution to every problem. All it takes is a little divine thought.