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Some quotes from Steven Wright:
"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."
"I bought some batteries, but they weren't included."
"I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."
"I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out."
"If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?"
"It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."
"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'"
"Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish."
"My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted."
"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
"What's another word for Thesaurus?"
"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'"
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
[ 01-17-2004: Message edited by: Basil ]</p>
"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."
"I bought some batteries, but they weren't included."
"I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."
"I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out."
"If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?"
"It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."
"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'"
"Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish."
"My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted."
"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
"What's another word for Thesaurus?"
"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'"
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
[ 01-17-2004: Message edited by: Basil ]</p>