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Son thinks I'm too hard on him & his friends

Bret

Yoda
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So my 17 yr old son has a bunch of friends over yesterday afternoon and they’re talking about going to see a movie. When they finally come to an agreement it is discovered that the movie is rated NC-17 and a couple of the kids are underage.

Anyway I’m staying out of the conversation but listening to the whole thing in my office in the next room. They finally ask Matt to ask dear ol’ dad if I wouldn’t mind buying the tickets for their friends.

So after a couple of minutes go by my son comes in to my office all cool & casual & asks me if I wouldn’t mind taking them to the movies. (their so funny when their try’n to be sly) I spin around in my office chair and ask - “Why?” (knowing the “real” question before he even asks) “Three of the kids already have cars, what do you need me for and just how many kids are going?”

He then explains the situation as asks if I would buy the tickets for the kids because their not quite 17 yet. I simply said “no son, I won’t do that”.

Reeling back against the doorjamb he says, “But I swear it’s ok Dad honest, I know their parents and they wouldn’t mind at all”

That’s when I said - “Then why don’t they call them and ask them to purchase their tickets?” I then point out that I don’t want to incur the wrath of some kids parents on their word and would be upset if another adult did that for my kid without my permission.

Rolling his eyes and leaving my office with a audible “Uggg!” He explains the situation to his friends and they start working on a plan B.

I asked him later what happened and he told me that because I wouldn’t buy the tickets for the other kids they had to see a movie that wasn’t as cool. With a smirk I looked at him & said “Son I did the right thing and if you think I’m a harda$$ – those Marine Drill Instructors are going to have a field day with you when ya get into recruit training”.
 
As far as I'm concerned, you did the right thing. Kids need and want guidance from their parents in just these types of situations. Your son may have thought just as you do, but couldn't reveal that to his friends. He just allowed you to be the ogre. He saves face, and doesn't get the wrath of his peers. Obviously there were no other parents willing to do this deal. /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif That's a good thing.
 
bret, i agree with what you did and in fact have done the same in similar situations with my son at that age, difference was i sent his buds packen but the sorry truth of the matter is that probably all of them have computer and unless parents vigorously monitor that activity you can bet they aint googlin for cute pictures of puppies, unfortunately this world is sadly far removed from the one we grew up in.
 
/bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/winner1.gif DAD

Way to go dad! More parents need to pay attention and remember when they were teens.
 
should've bounced him off the wall..then made him do 50 before you said no...naw that would spoil his initial welcome to the MC....BTW: I have an 18 year old son and a 16 year old daughter going on 30 so I understand first hand...!!!
 
Brett, I agree. You did the right thing, and that comment about the Marine D.I.s was spot on!

I had two Grenadier Guardsmen as D.I.s and they taught us to march like guardsmen. Talk about precision marching, and you screw up even in the slightest...... /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif

I can still march that way to this day /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif
 
It's nice to hear!Sometimes parents want to be "Cool",
or try to be a buddy with their kids,rather than doing the
"right thing".Way to go.

- Doug
 
But I am the cool dad Doug. /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif

Anyway I'm not expecting it to have much of an impact now save on a subconscious level that will raise its ugly head when he has to deal with teenagers of his own. /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif
 
Steve said:
Brett, I agree. You did the right thing, and that comment about the Marine D.I.s was spot on!

I had two Grenadier Guardsmen as D.I.s and they taught us to march like guardsmen. Talk about precision marching, and you screw up even in the slightest...... /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif

I can still march that way to this day /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif

Hehe! Bet you can snap a SMART salute too!! /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif
 
bugimike said:
Steve said:
Brett, I agree. You did the right thing, and that comment about the Marine D.I.s was spot on!

I had two Grenadier Guardsmen as D.I.s and they taught us to march like guardsmen. Talk about precision marching, and you screw up even in the slightest...... /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif

I can still march that way to this day /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif

Hehe! Bet you can snap a SMART salute too!! /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif

Ohhhhhhhh, yessir!

"Longest way up, palm outwards, little wiggle at the top, shortest way down! NOW DO IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!"

Yes sergeant!!
 
Way to go, Bret!!I used to tell Shannon while she was in high school to use me as the bad guy when her friends wanted to do something she thought was stupid...once I heard her tell a group of kids hanging out in our basement game room, "Uh-uh...my dad's a crazy Vietnam vet and he'd come unglued if I did that!"
 
Ya know once my older son was once complaining to his mother about how hard I came down on him during a heart to heart with him about a “poor choice” he made once.

In a nut shell, basically he signed an agreement - then didn’t follow through with it and was trying to justify his selfish reasons for not following through. I didn’t yell or scream, but let him know in no uncertain terms how disappointed I was and how when you give your word or sign an agreement – you are making a promise. And when you do so it is a matter of honor to follow through.

I could tell he didn’t like what I had to say but I think I surprised him because he didn’t know what to say to me and I let the issue drop thinking (hoping actually) he’d make the right choices eventually. Later that week my ex-wife calls to tell me that he tried whining to her about me giving his such a hard time & pulling my old sappy Marine Corps’ “Honor, Courage & Commitment” cra.. er… Crud on him. I’m sure my son was expecting a totally different response from her, but the ex told me she fired back that – “it has nothing to do with being a Marine. Your father simply believes that when a man give his word he has to live up to it” and added “And so do I.”

According to my ex-wife he was totally shocked by the fact that as much as we despised each other, we totally agreed on this one. Fact is I was shocked she agreed with me too.
 
tony barnhill said:
Way to go, Bret!!I used to tell Shannon while she was in high school to use me as the bad guy when her friends wanted to do something she thought was stupid...once I heard her tell a group of kids hanging out in our basement game room, "Uh-uh...my dad's a crazy Vietnam vet and he'd come unglued if I did that!"
- ya mean prior to this event they hadnt noticed? i dont know what my son has told his friends about me but when i show up they aint got that lazy casual look about em any more just about snap to and its not cuz theve been doing something wrong, luckily it didnt take long for my son to on his own ferret out the bad "friends" from the good either when ever hed bring over a new bud and introduce me id later that day tell him all about that kid and what would become of him, till this day he tells me how astounded he is of my accuracy. call it mothers intuition.
 
I just love when my kids pull some crap like that. They tell their friends that I am some crazy Marine, and best left alone.

My oldest has a BF who came over one day, and said to me "What's going on dude". I promptly escorted him outside, and let him know my displeasure with being called "dude". From then on, I am addressed as Mr. or sir (at least to my face).

It should be interesting to hear how your Sons first day at boot camp go. I did some time in Drill Instructor school before my unit went to Saudi. Great fun getting them civilians off the bus at 0300.

Do me a favor and thank him in advance for his service to my beloved Corps (should he survive recruit training) /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif

As a prep, he should watch the first fifteen minutes of Full Metal Jacket to get a feel for how the Drill Instructors act. Of course they won't hit the lad, but the psyops they use is great.
 
Thanks Ron,

Yeah FMJ is on our watch list. Great movie the Boot Camp part was pretty much like it was for me when I landed my sorry longhaired Civilian Arse, on them famous yellow footprints at the Recruit Depot in September of 77.

Semper Fi!
 
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