Hi Guest!
Hey - did you know if you click on the title of a thread it will take you to the first unread post since you last visited that thread?
but were afraid to ask: 
STOP!! Never post your email address in open forums. Bots can "harvest" your email! If you must share your email use a Private Message or use the 
smilie in place of the real @
Pretty Please - add it to our Events forum(s) and add to the calendar! >> 
bugimike
Yoda
Offline
Rules To Live By
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a
sleeping pill and a laxative on the same
night.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they
don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian
anymore than standing in a garage makes you a
car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for
natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick
the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room
with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion
that life is serious.
8. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the
waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very
important. Pay attention! It never fails.)
9. For every action, there is an equal and
opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you
probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the
speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your
other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth.
Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the
dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and
narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than
coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and
throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you
counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables
you to recognize a mistake when you make it
again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they
move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy
refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice
contrast to the real world.
25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look
fat.
26. If you had to identify, in one word, the
reason why the human race has not achieved,
and never will achieve, its full potential,
that word would be 'meetings.'
27. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and
'mental illness.'
28. People who want to share their religious
views with you almost never want you to
share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your
life.
30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just
get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe
is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you
a clear and compelling reason why we observe
daylight savings time.
34. You should never say anything to a woman
that even remotely suggests that you think
she's pregnant unless you can see an actual
baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. There comes a time when you should stop
expecting other people to make a big deal
about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
36. The one thing that unites all human beings,
regardless of age, gender, religion,
economic status or ethnic background, is
that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that
we are above average drivers.
37. Your friends love you anyway.
38. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try
something new. Remember that a lone amateur
built the Ark. A large group of
professionals built the Titanic.
:thumbsup:
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a
sleeping pill and a laxative on the same
night.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they
don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian
anymore than standing in a garage makes you a
car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for
natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick
the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room
with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion
that life is serious.
8. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the
waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very
important. Pay attention! It never fails.)
9. For every action, there is an equal and
opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you
probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the
speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your
other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth.
Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the
dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and
narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than
coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and
throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you
counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables
you to recognize a mistake when you make it
again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they
move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy
refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice
contrast to the real world.
25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look
fat.
26. If you had to identify, in one word, the
reason why the human race has not achieved,
and never will achieve, its full potential,
that word would be 'meetings.'
27. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and
'mental illness.'
28. People who want to share their religious
views with you almost never want you to
share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your
life.
30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just
get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe
is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you
a clear and compelling reason why we observe
daylight savings time.
34. You should never say anything to a woman
that even remotely suggests that you think
she's pregnant unless you can see an actual
baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. There comes a time when you should stop
expecting other people to make a big deal
about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
36. The one thing that unites all human beings,
regardless of age, gender, religion,
economic status or ethnic background, is
that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that
we are above average drivers.
37. Your friends love you anyway.
38. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try
something new. Remember that a lone amateur
built the Ark. A large group of
professionals built the Titanic.
:thumbsup:
