Hey Guest!
but were afraid to ask: 
STOP!! Never post your email address in open forums. Bots can "harvest" your email! If you must share your email use a Private Message or use the 
smilie in place of the real @
Pretty Please - add it to our Events forum(s) and add to the calendar! >> 
CraigLandrum
Jedi Hopeful
Offline
The importation of pressurized English air for the tyres is probably a bit excessive, as is the use of English Leather to polish the boot. Periodic changing of the stone-faced guards is likely not needed here due to the use of asphalt on our roads.
In fact, the replacement of most parts on an LBC is simply a waste of time. New research has determined that most mechanical failures on Triumphs are a direct result of long-term exposure to the harsh, foreign vibrations found here in the US. Yes, it's true - our poor, dear little cars are simply having nervous breakdowns - and it's no wonder! You glide smoothly and proudly off the factory floor, take a nice, relaxing ocean voyage to US shores, and as soon as you get to the bottom of the gangplank - whammo! - you're hit full in the face with the sound of millions of hyped up Detroit gas hogs equipped with glass packs and Hurst shifters, equipped with twice your cylinder count and four times your weight! Like the geeky kid on the playground surrounded by bullies, you realize that you ain't in merry olde London anymore, Dorothy. You immediately get the shakes. You nervously run in fits and starts, never knowing from whence the next assault on your senses will come. And what's that stuff being broadcast!? You expected the soothing sounds of Penny Lane and Montovani, but what you are being force fed in great steaming decibel heaps is the soul-shattering sounds of Tupac, the incomprehensible stylings of Joan Jett, and the neuron-reducing pablum of Brittany Spears.
And after 50 years of this type of sensory overload, you simply give up. Like the previous British visitors that wore red coats, you know in your heart that you weren't born to live on these shores. You were born to squire his Lordship to the club, not haul a platoon of ragged hippies to Woodstock. Not for you is driving Joe Six-pack and his screaming brats 3,000 miles to an overhyped amusement park - you were built to carry the countessa and her basket of scones and champaigne to the polo match. The delicate, refined parts that make up your sensitive chassis and powerplant simply begin to dissolve from the onslaught of environmental overload and long term depression.
But there is hope.
Scientists experimenting deep in soundproof bunkers have demonstrated that our LBC's can actually repair themselves when exposed to the vibrations of their homeland. Simply playing 'Rule Brittania" in the presence of these cars has been shown to improve gas mileage by 25% and virtually eliminate floorpan corrosion! Playing the Beatles White Album (at a modest volume of course) lubricates the engine and reduces radiator temperature by 75 degrees! Yes, there is hope, and you can help.
Remember that to the British, the term "sports car" does not mean a car with which you participate in sporting events, but one that "sports" a sophisticated yet tasteful selection of car club badges. You do not "peel out" in an LBC. You "peel" the foil off the champaigne bottle. One does not "bore out" or "hop up" the motor - one accepts the engine as God and British Leyland intended - to convey gentlemen and ladies in style and good taste to the next foxhunting event.
In summary, we need not be obsessed with performing major surgery on our cars when what is needed is simply feeding them a steady diet of home and refinement, with a sense of acceptance of their original purpose
...and that's all the advice I think I better offer on this subject!
In fact, the replacement of most parts on an LBC is simply a waste of time. New research has determined that most mechanical failures on Triumphs are a direct result of long-term exposure to the harsh, foreign vibrations found here in the US. Yes, it's true - our poor, dear little cars are simply having nervous breakdowns - and it's no wonder! You glide smoothly and proudly off the factory floor, take a nice, relaxing ocean voyage to US shores, and as soon as you get to the bottom of the gangplank - whammo! - you're hit full in the face with the sound of millions of hyped up Detroit gas hogs equipped with glass packs and Hurst shifters, equipped with twice your cylinder count and four times your weight! Like the geeky kid on the playground surrounded by bullies, you realize that you ain't in merry olde London anymore, Dorothy. You immediately get the shakes. You nervously run in fits and starts, never knowing from whence the next assault on your senses will come. And what's that stuff being broadcast!? You expected the soothing sounds of Penny Lane and Montovani, but what you are being force fed in great steaming decibel heaps is the soul-shattering sounds of Tupac, the incomprehensible stylings of Joan Jett, and the neuron-reducing pablum of Brittany Spears.
And after 50 years of this type of sensory overload, you simply give up. Like the previous British visitors that wore red coats, you know in your heart that you weren't born to live on these shores. You were born to squire his Lordship to the club, not haul a platoon of ragged hippies to Woodstock. Not for you is driving Joe Six-pack and his screaming brats 3,000 miles to an overhyped amusement park - you were built to carry the countessa and her basket of scones and champaigne to the polo match. The delicate, refined parts that make up your sensitive chassis and powerplant simply begin to dissolve from the onslaught of environmental overload and long term depression.
But there is hope.
Scientists experimenting deep in soundproof bunkers have demonstrated that our LBC's can actually repair themselves when exposed to the vibrations of their homeland. Simply playing 'Rule Brittania" in the presence of these cars has been shown to improve gas mileage by 25% and virtually eliminate floorpan corrosion! Playing the Beatles White Album (at a modest volume of course) lubricates the engine and reduces radiator temperature by 75 degrees! Yes, there is hope, and you can help.
Remember that to the British, the term "sports car" does not mean a car with which you participate in sporting events, but one that "sports" a sophisticated yet tasteful selection of car club badges. You do not "peel out" in an LBC. You "peel" the foil off the champaigne bottle. One does not "bore out" or "hop up" the motor - one accepts the engine as God and British Leyland intended - to convey gentlemen and ladies in style and good taste to the next foxhunting event.
In summary, we need not be obsessed with performing major surgery on our cars when what is needed is simply feeding them a steady diet of home and refinement, with a sense of acceptance of their original purpose
...and that's all the advice I think I better offer on this subject!
