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aeronca65t

aeronca65t

Great Pumpkin
Offline
Oldies but goodies:

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils?

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

Velcro: what a rip off!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
 

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from
prison was a small medium at large.


The soldier who survived mustard gas and
pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.


A backward poet writes inverse.


In a democracy it's your vote that counts.
In feudalism it's yourcount that votes.


When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.


If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.


A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. Thestewardess looks at him and says,
'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrionallowed per passenger.'

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other andsays, 'Dam!'



Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire inthe craft.Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again
that you can'thave your kayak and heat it too.


Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' Theother says, 'Are you sure?'
The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'


Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain
during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
​
 
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was
Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.


I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.


She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.


A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because itwas a weapon of math disruption.


No matter how much you push the envelope,
it'll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
and was cited for littering.


A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would
result in Linoleum Blownapart.


Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall..
The police are looking into it.


Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'


I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.




 
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