Offline
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses the cool guy: 'Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?'
The guy replies, 'I'm Bruce, retired airline pilot from Toronto.'
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, 'Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.' The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.
Next, it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, 'I am Bob, pastor of the Heavenly Comfort Church for the last 43 years.'
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, 'Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom.
'Just a minute,' says the minister. 'That man was a pilot and he gets silk and gold, and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?
'Up here - we go by results,' says Saint Peter. 'When you preached - people slept. When he flew, people prayed.'

Tom
("I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my uncle. Not screaming in terror, like his passengers.")
The guy replies, 'I'm Bruce, retired airline pilot from Toronto.'
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, 'Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.' The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.
Next, it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, 'I am Bob, pastor of the Heavenly Comfort Church for the last 43 years.'
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, 'Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom.
'Just a minute,' says the minister. 'That man was a pilot and he gets silk and gold, and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?
'Up here - we go by results,' says Saint Peter. 'When you preached - people slept. When he flew, people prayed.'

Tom
("I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my uncle. Not screaming in terror, like his passengers.")