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Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence
or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston
Churchill loved them.)
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.... but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you
hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up.... we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a
fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency,
notify...." I answered, "a doctor."
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with
a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to
skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit
the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a
garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to do something stupid.
One last Churchillian. At a dinner party, after the meal Churchill loudly passed gas. The man next to him said "you farted in front of my wife." Churchill replied. "Sorry, I didn'y know it was her turn."
or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston
Churchill loved them.)
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.... but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you
hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up.... we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a
fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency,
notify...." I answered, "a doctor."
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with
a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to
skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit
the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a
garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to do something stupid.
One last Churchillian. At a dinner party, after the meal Churchill loudly passed gas. The man next to him said "you farted in front of my wife." Churchill replied. "Sorry, I didn'y know it was her turn."
