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You know you're no longer "cool" when:
The pattern on your shorts and your couch match.
You criticize the kids of today for their satanic, violence-inducing music, forgetting that you listened to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath.
When grass is something that you cut, not cultivate.
When jogging is something you do to your memory.
Rocking all night means dozing off in your rocking chair.
Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.
You bought your new car for the same price you just paid for your son's new running shoes.
You actually ASK for your father's/mother's advice.
You call the police on a noisy party instead of grabbing a cold one and joining it.
The pattern on your shorts and your couch match.
You criticize the kids of today for their satanic, violence-inducing music, forgetting that you listened to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath.
When grass is something that you cut, not cultivate.
When jogging is something you do to your memory.
Rocking all night means dozing off in your rocking chair.
Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.
You bought your new car for the same price you just paid for your son's new running shoes.
You actually ASK for your father's/mother's advice.
You call the police on a noisy party instead of grabbing a cold one and joining it.