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More awkward moments in the single's scene...

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Brett,

Your experience and one of the returns about not understanding women, reminded me of my Uncle George and the "Bottle Genie"....


Seems one day Uncle George was walking on the beach with his magnetic treasure hunter wand. He came across an interesting shaped bottle and rubbed it to get the sand off:
"Poof" a cloud of smoke and a Genie came out.

Uncle George was esctatic as he thought he was going to get three wishes and would be set for life. Unfortunately, the Genie told him that because he it had only been 50 years since he was put back in the bottle, Uncle George was only going to get one wish!

Well, Uncle George thought seriously about that one wish, gave grave consideration to what his wish was.... Finally he asked the Genie for a highway to be built to Hawaii...

The Genie was trying to get out of that, telling Uncle George that 3700 miles(Uncle George was living in Washington State then) was kind of a long way to build a bridged highway over the water. He asked Uncle George if he wouldn't rather have a billion dollar, etc. Uncle George said no, he really wanted that highway to Hawaii. So, the Genie, still trying to get out of that wish grant, asked Uncle George why he wanted a highway to Hawaii.

Uncle George told him that it was coming up to his 25th wedding anniversary and his wife wanted to go to Hawaii, but Uncle George was terrified of flying and his wife was extremely sea sick. So Uncle George thought the hiway was the perfect answer. The Genie, again demurred and told Uncle George that he couldn't build the highway soon enough for the wedding anniversary and asked Uncle George if there wasn't SOMETHING ELSE that would satisfy the wish.

Well, Uncle George thought some more and told the Genie he wanted the ability to understand women, that he had been married for almost 25 years and still couldn't figure women out.....

The Genie thought about that for awhile and then told Uncle George.... "You want four lanes or eight lanes."
 
Go Tony go.

I bet it was all "yes dear" lol
 
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:]Go Tony go.

I bet it was all "yes dear" lol[/QUOTE]
hehehehe...Yep, I'll be the first to admit I'm whipped - remember, I've got my prime directive, "She can't say 'no' to me if I never say 'no' to her." And I've got the toys to prove it!

But, before one of them gets their hooks in you, while you're still moving freely, you've gotta make sure the one who grabs you is the right one - until then, you CUT THEM NO SLACK!
 
Dude, just hang out at Autozone, O'Reilly's, Advanced, NAPA, et al. Don't look at the chick's face or anatomy. Check her fingernails. If they have grease under them, get her phone number.

If, God forbid, something would happen to Chuck, I would NEVER ever get into the dating scene. I would sell his truck and boat, buy my GT, do the V8 conversion and live quite happily alone without tightywhities strewn all over my bathroom, without falling in the toilet at 2am because someone didn't put the seat down, I'd learn to use the remote control...
 
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:] ...she thought playing with sports cars and big boy toys where a waist of money and immature.

...

Next day another girl that was at the table told me that she was upset because of the way I dumped her.[/QUOTE]


She's mad because someone she thinks is immature dumped her?!?!?!?! /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/nonod.gif


Sounds completely nuts; even immature /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/devilgrin.gif to me....
 
JamesWilson said:
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:] She's mad because someone she thinks is immature dumped her?!?!?!?! /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/nonod.gif


Sounds completely nuts; even immature /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/devilgrin.gif to me....
Click to expand...

Have you ever considered a more "mature" woman?
<u>60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)</u>

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.
Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming
match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.
Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise,often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far
sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes,we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against
marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!
 
jaybird said:
Dude, just hang out at Autozone, O'Reilly's, Advanced, NAPA, et al. Don't look at the chick's face or anatomy. Check her fingernails. If they have grease under them, get her phone number.

If, God forbid, something would happen to Chuck, I would NEVER ever get into the dating scene. I would sell his truck and boat, buy my GT, do the V8 conversion and live quite happily alone without tightywhities strewn all over my bathroom, without falling in the toilet at 2am because someone didn't put the seat down, I'd learn to use the remote control...
Click to expand...

Jaybird: It was kinda okay, until you got to the toilet
seat part again. Please? Okay?
 
Bret, I have a friend. She's adorably cute, 43 years old, 5'3", maybe 105-110, single, no baggage (i.e., kids) never married. Has a career, no family here to tie her down. I do have to tell you though she sounds like the love child of Elmer Fudd and Porky Pig after they've been sucking helium...
 
5722.jpg
 
/bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif

The thing that I find the funniest is that she accuses Bret of all these things, and especially of being immature, but the fact is he has not dumped her, there was no relationship there, not even a date! No wonder the poor guy is dumbfounded...........
 
jaybird said:
5722.jpg
Click to expand...

....she has a greeeeat personality! And the funniest sense of humor!
 
Jaybird, I did not know toilet seats had remotes?
 
Durn, modern tech. overcomes an old problem.
 
jlaird said:
Jaybird, I did not know toilet seats had remotes?
Click to expand...
While I was looking for tiles a few months ago, some guy came into the store to pick up his special order Toyo seat. It automatically opens when you approach, pre-heats, gives you a complete wash, wax and dry when you are done and then automatically closes when you leave. Nearly 1 grand for that seat. The Japanese seem to have the market cornered on really high end toilets!
 
TR6BILL said:
At least he raised the seat in the first place.
Click to expand...

So I should be happy he uses the toilet at all and doesn't just go on the floor? Nope not buying...put down the seat..its such a small gesture and minor effort that speaks volumes to women everywhere and lets us all know how much you care!

Doesn't make sense to all you guys? I'm sure there's a thread around here somewhere about how you don't understand women...its just a woman thang.
 
I suspect if their rumbleseat hit ice cold water at 2am they would understand...
 
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