Laws of Car restoration

[NutmegCT]

Corollary: Whichever side of the car you lay down on first to look - the part will be closer to the other side.

Absolutely. Never fails. And if you accidentally drop a screw on the left side of the engine bay, it'll turn up in a puddle of oil at the rear of the car.

 

[Basil]

And if you hedge your bets and bring both SAE and metric tools underneath with you, the faster you need to turn will be one of the few Whitworth holdouts left on the whole vehicle...

Of if it's a newer car it might be Torx.

 

[equiprx]

When I was Jaguar mechanic I was dumbfounded by the s-type.
In order to do an oil change it took eight tools for eight different fasteners.
No excuse, four different just for the belly pan.

 

[JPSmit]

When I was Jaguar mechanic I was dumbfounded by the s-type.
In order to do an oil change it took eight tools for eight different fasteners.
No excuse, four different just for the belly pan.

This recently came up on another forum - apparently as they automated the assembly line, they put different sized fasteners on the wrenches so that they wouldn't get mixed up. Bonkers, but makes a certain type of sense.

 

[Bayless]

And if you hedge your bets and bring both SAE and metric tools underneath with you, the faster you need to turn will be one of the few Whitworth holdouts left on the whole vehicle...

That's why we have "adjustable spanners."

 

[LarryK]

But, when you look for the 10mm, you can't find it. Still not easy when you have a few in the drawer, they went on vacation.

 

[swampyankee]

Corollary: Whichever side of the car you lay down on first to look - the part will be closer to the other side.

..and under or within an object on the floor, such as a tire or floor jack base.

 

[Allanvos]

My brother sent me the 25 Laws of Car Restoration. Too long for here, but I added a few more (from bitter experience):
1. The Manual you finally found will always leave out one important step - or tell you what to do - but not how to do it.
2. When you break off a bolt (usually the last one left), you will find every size and thread except the one you need in your collection of 347 bolts.
3. Nine out of ten times, it's the electrical system. The 10th time - it's probably the electrical system.
4. The more you adjust an SU carburetor, the worse the car will run.
5. 99 out of 100 times, it's a stupid, simple problem why your car won't run. The tenth time - oh, oh. $$$$.
6. The further from home, the more likely the car will break down.
7. The one tool you need will never be there when you look for it.
8. When you get caught in the rain, you will not be able to get the top up until the rain stops.

I love number 4. I once battled for two weeks to tune the SUs on my Healey 3000. Neither the manuals nor Google could solve the problem.
I then invented my own settings and viola! AND - how do you set the SUs "only when the engine is warm", if it won't start?! (I no longer have the car, by the way)

 

[Basil]

I love number 4. I once battled for two weeks to tune the SUs on my Healey 3000. Neither the manuals nor Google could solve the problem.
I then invented my own settings and viola! AND - how do you set the SUs "only when the engine is warm", if it won't start?! (I no longer have the car, by the way)

Yes, #4 has relevance for anyone who has ever try to tune those beasts!

 

[JPSmit]

and 4a. If you rebuild your SU enough times soon you will have two SUs.

 

[pdplot]

Since buying my TR6 over 20 years ago, outside of checking the dashpot oil once a year, resetting the "choke" setting about 5 years ago to make the car easier to start (it did), and rapping the float bowl of the front carb with a wooden-handled screwdriver to cure a leak caused by a stuck float, I have never touched either Stromberg. The car runs fine.

 

[JPSmit]

The distance a part or fastener will travel horizontally after falling vertically will be the square of the vertical drop.

Got to experience this yesterday. Major Pingf*kit. Master cylinder plunger part - found everything except the crucial bit. Walked away at that point knowing I would be cleaning the garage today. And I found it today - I feel like the corollary this law that it will be found, but, in the most unlikely Gravity defying) place. The trajectory was between the car and the wall - which of course was storage. Got everything cleaned out only to be able to walk up the side and notice it lying pristinely on top of a bookcase. (Ok on top of another part on top of the bookcase.) Everything else hit the floor and I was only thinking of looking on the floor and there it was - go figure.

 

[sparkydave]

The distance a part or fastener will travel horizontally after falling vertically will be the square of the vertical drop.

Best one I managed was when I dropped the oil filler cap into the engine compartment of the wife's car while it was partially inside the garage. I heard it land in the compartment, looked all over for it. In between the radiator and condensor, in the wheel wells, on top of the splash guard, in every corner of the garage, but couldn't find it. Had to tape over the hole, figuring I'd have to get one at the dealer. Next morning, wife found it in the flower bed in front of the garage about 10 feet away. Swear I never heard it hit the floor. Must have been a wormhole or subspace distortion field in the engine compartment that transported it to the flower bed.

 

[DrEntropy]

One of my go-to explanations is "Stray Neutron Bombardment" when a bit goes absent and appears later in someplace unexpected.

 

[AngliaGT]

I usually spend 20-30 minutes looking for the part/tool that I
set down earlier,so that I wouldn't have to look all over for it later.
And then your leg cramps,right after crawling under the car.