Sorry Bill, If you were to live next door, we could have this sorted in under a half hour.
Look at your new solenoid. There's a little arm that pushes on the throttle, if you were to take that arm, and have it push a little toggle switch instead of your throttle, you would have a relay.
Let's try something here for the sake of simplicity and go with what Ray said.
Take a wire from the hot wire on the car side of your fan relay, and go to one wire of your solenoid.
I hope your solenoid has two wires on it, because the second one then goes to the wire on your fan relay that goes to your temperature switch.
If you wire things in this way, your solenoid will then be controlled by your temperature switch, and it will last long enough for me to mail you a drawing, or for me to figure out how to post a drawing.
Does that make a little more sense?