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kyreb1862
Jedi Knight
Offline
IDIOT
SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our
problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor
on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears
made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady,
you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO,
it's not." Four is larger than two.."
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT
SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's
take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also
handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I
know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to
get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he
handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of
thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in
change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING
:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign
on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
>From Kingman ,
KS .
IDIOT
SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person
behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only
had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas
City
IDIOT
SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has
anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To
which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled
knowingly and nodded,
"That' s why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT
SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was
crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew
what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is
red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing
driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING
:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due
to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We
should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each
other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at
Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the
sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no
less.
IDIOT
SIGHTING
:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we
were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician,
"its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton ,
Mississippi
STAY
ALERT!
They walk among us... and the scary part is that they V OTE and they REPRODUCE!
Several years ago, my wife and I with a couple of friends were taking a weekend trip
together and stopped for some cinnamon raisin biscuits at a local Hardees to take
with us. At the drive thru I asked for a half dozen cinnamon raisin biscuits. The
reply back was "How many?". I said a half dozen again, and the reply was "How
many?". About then my wife give me an elbow an says "tell her six". I complied and
immediately the reply back was "Oh! six". Yep, it really happened!
__________________
Steve S.
When I was a Schwan's Salesman in training I trained in the mountains of eastern
Kentucky. One day it snowed pretty hard and the only people on the road were the
postman and Schwan's man. We had just parked the truck in this ladies driveway and
were walking to her door when she popped her head out and said, "I don't need
anything today, the weather is just too bad." We were already there and she didn't
have to leave the house but the weather was too bad for her to buy groceries that
were sitting in her driveway and would be brought into the house and put away for
her.
__________________
Jerry Orange
I had a bead chain break. The same kind that holds dog-tags. Now I stopped by the
jewelry department at Wal-Mart and asked the girl if they had bead chains there. She
looked at me with that quizzical look so I told her that it is the chain you wear
around your neck that usually holds dog-tags. She told me that if they had anything
like that it would be in the pet department.
My sister-in-law told me about a friend of hers that told on herself for her act of
mental slippage. The woman said that she got up in the morning and went to take a
shower. The water was off so she went downstairs, made a pot of coffee, then called
her sister to tell her that her water was off and would need to take a shower at her
place. It was a valve on the shower head that was off. I did tell someone else that
story and they still didn't get it.
Many years ago, my wife and I were out to dinner at a restaurant we enjoyed. We were
seated at our table and a young, inexperienced waitress came over and asked if we
would like to place our drink order. I asked for a beer and my wife ordered a wine
cooler. A few minutes later the waitress returned with my beer, but no drink for my
wife. We figured that the delay must be due to the bartender opening a new bottle of
wine or something.
A little while later, the waitress brought out our salads and still no drink for my
wife. We were a little concerned but still didn't say anything to the waitress,
because we recognized that, being new, she had her hands full and we didn't want to
rattle her.
In the middle of eating our salads, the waitress came back and placed on our table a
metal bucket full of ice (a "wine cooler"). We laughed and wondered just what the
heck she thought we were going to do with her "wine cooler" as we had not ordered
any wine.
We were treated to a good laugh for the cost of our meals. Some 30 years later, we
still tell the story and chuckle about it. Priceless.
My family and I had gone to Stone Mountain GA for a weekend getaway.
While there we went into one of the tourist trap gift shops to look aroound and cool
off a little, humidity outside was close to 99+% that day.
Anyway, my wife spies the fudge counter and decides to get some for all of us. She
goes over and looks at the various flavors and decides which ones to get, the
counter girl comes over and asks if she can help us.
My wife asks what the price of the fudge is and the girl replies, "It depends on how
much you get". It was sold by the pound or part of a pound but the per pound price
was nowhere to be seen. My wife then asks what is the price for a pound of fudge and
the girl replied with the per pound price. So far so good, my wife isn't twitching
yet.
She asks the girl to sell her one quarter of a pound of this flavor, one half of a
pound of this flavor and one quarter of a pound of this flavor. The girl repeats it
back to be certain, my wife agrees and the girl gets the fudge cutter. She then
whacks off a chunk of fudge, holds it up over the counter scale and asks my wife,
"Is this enough?". My wife starts twitching.
She tells the girl to place the piece on the scale and then tell her if it weighs 4
ounces. The girl looks at my wife questioningly and my wife's twitches start moving
down to her shoulders from her eyes. The girl puts the piece on the scale and the
scale shows 2 ounces, and she asks, "Is that enough of this one?" I step a little
closer to my wife, arm's reach if this situation gets any more ludicrous, and put a
hand on her shoulder anyway.
My wife then says, through clenched teeth, "I want 4 ounces of that one, 8 ounces of
this one and 4 ounces of this one.
The counter girl actually comprehended her situation then and proceeded to obtain
the correct amounts of the correct fudge and get us out of there as quickly as she
could without escalating my wife's ire, and twitching.
I escorted my wife out of there, got her out of sight and let her have her rant
until she worked it out of her system. Then we had a great laugh about it, and still
do once in awhile.
SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our
problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor
on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears
made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady,
you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO,
it's not." Four is larger than two.."
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT
SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's
take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also
handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I
know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to
get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he
handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of
thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in
change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING
:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign
on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
>From Kingman ,
KS .
IDIOT
SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person
behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only
had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas
City
IDIOT
SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has
anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To
which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled
knowingly and nodded,
"That' s why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT
SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was
crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew
what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is
red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing
driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING
:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due
to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We
should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each
other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at
Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the
sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no
less.
IDIOT
SIGHTING
:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we
were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician,
"its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton ,
Mississippi
STAY
ALERT!
They walk among us... and the scary part is that they V OTE and they REPRODUCE!
Several years ago, my wife and I with a couple of friends were taking a weekend trip
together and stopped for some cinnamon raisin biscuits at a local Hardees to take
with us. At the drive thru I asked for a half dozen cinnamon raisin biscuits. The
reply back was "How many?". I said a half dozen again, and the reply was "How
many?". About then my wife give me an elbow an says "tell her six". I complied and
immediately the reply back was "Oh! six". Yep, it really happened!
__________________
Steve S.
When I was a Schwan's Salesman in training I trained in the mountains of eastern
Kentucky. One day it snowed pretty hard and the only people on the road were the
postman and Schwan's man. We had just parked the truck in this ladies driveway and
were walking to her door when she popped her head out and said, "I don't need
anything today, the weather is just too bad." We were already there and she didn't
have to leave the house but the weather was too bad for her to buy groceries that
were sitting in her driveway and would be brought into the house and put away for
her.
__________________
Jerry Orange
I had a bead chain break. The same kind that holds dog-tags. Now I stopped by the
jewelry department at Wal-Mart and asked the girl if they had bead chains there. She
looked at me with that quizzical look so I told her that it is the chain you wear
around your neck that usually holds dog-tags. She told me that if they had anything
like that it would be in the pet department.
My sister-in-law told me about a friend of hers that told on herself for her act of
mental slippage. The woman said that she got up in the morning and went to take a
shower. The water was off so she went downstairs, made a pot of coffee, then called
her sister to tell her that her water was off and would need to take a shower at her
place. It was a valve on the shower head that was off. I did tell someone else that
story and they still didn't get it.
Many years ago, my wife and I were out to dinner at a restaurant we enjoyed. We were
seated at our table and a young, inexperienced waitress came over and asked if we
would like to place our drink order. I asked for a beer and my wife ordered a wine
cooler. A few minutes later the waitress returned with my beer, but no drink for my
wife. We figured that the delay must be due to the bartender opening a new bottle of
wine or something.
A little while later, the waitress brought out our salads and still no drink for my
wife. We were a little concerned but still didn't say anything to the waitress,
because we recognized that, being new, she had her hands full and we didn't want to
rattle her.
In the middle of eating our salads, the waitress came back and placed on our table a
metal bucket full of ice (a "wine cooler"). We laughed and wondered just what the
heck she thought we were going to do with her "wine cooler" as we had not ordered
any wine.
We were treated to a good laugh for the cost of our meals. Some 30 years later, we
still tell the story and chuckle about it. Priceless.
My family and I had gone to Stone Mountain GA for a weekend getaway.
While there we went into one of the tourist trap gift shops to look aroound and cool
off a little, humidity outside was close to 99+% that day.
Anyway, my wife spies the fudge counter and decides to get some for all of us. She
goes over and looks at the various flavors and decides which ones to get, the
counter girl comes over and asks if she can help us.
My wife asks what the price of the fudge is and the girl replies, "It depends on how
much you get". It was sold by the pound or part of a pound but the per pound price
was nowhere to be seen. My wife then asks what is the price for a pound of fudge and
the girl replied with the per pound price. So far so good, my wife isn't twitching
yet.
She asks the girl to sell her one quarter of a pound of this flavor, one half of a
pound of this flavor and one quarter of a pound of this flavor. The girl repeats it
back to be certain, my wife agrees and the girl gets the fudge cutter. She then
whacks off a chunk of fudge, holds it up over the counter scale and asks my wife,
"Is this enough?". My wife starts twitching.
She tells the girl to place the piece on the scale and then tell her if it weighs 4
ounces. The girl looks at my wife questioningly and my wife's twitches start moving
down to her shoulders from her eyes. The girl puts the piece on the scale and the
scale shows 2 ounces, and she asks, "Is that enough of this one?" I step a little
closer to my wife, arm's reach if this situation gets any more ludicrous, and put a
hand on her shoulder anyway.
My wife then says, through clenched teeth, "I want 4 ounces of that one, 8 ounces of
this one and 4 ounces of this one.
The counter girl actually comprehended her situation then and proceeded to obtain
the correct amounts of the correct fudge and get us out of there as quickly as she
could without escalating my wife's ire, and twitching.
I escorted my wife out of there, got her out of sight and let her have her rant
until she worked it out of her system. Then we had a great laugh about it, and still
do once in awhile.