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Husband Speak

kyreb1862

Jedi Knight
Offline
"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen." Really means....
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."

"It's a guy thing." Really means....
There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?" Really means....
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." Really mean....
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.

"Good idea." Really means....
"It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."

"Have you lost weight?" Really means....
"I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."

"My wife doesn't understand me." Really means....
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."

"It would take too long to explain." Really means....
"I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately." Really means....
"The batteries in the remote are dead."

"I got a lot done." Really means....
"I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."

"We're going to be late." Really means....
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"You cook just like my mother used to." Really means....
"She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." Really means....
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear." Really means....
"Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." Really means....
"I forgot our anniversary again."

"You expect too much of me." Really means....
"You want me to stay awake."

"It's a really good movie." Really means....
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars."

"That's women's work." Really means....
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
 
On the other hand I get to do all the HDD jobs
Thats either hard,dirty or dangerous
 
Around our house I make ALL the BIG decisions; my wife takes care of the minor decisions.

For instance, she decided where we would live, which home to buy, how much to spend, what clothes I will wear each day, what I do with my time, etc..

I get to decide the BIG stuff:

Should we be friends with the Russians?

Should we extend the space shuttles' missions?

When is the best launch date for the next Mars trip?

Welp, you get the idea. I wear the pants in our house! Of course I wear the ones my wife picks out for me, but ....
 
Hey, same here.....when we got married, Jwerri told me she'd take care of all the small stuff & I could handle the big decisions...so far, after 39 years, she's only told me I needed to make 3 decisions!
 
Give 'em lots of little things to gripe about- you know, all that stuff you still do that you did before getting married... :devilgrin:
 
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