• Hey Guest!
    British Car Forum has been supporting enthusiasts for over 25 years by providing a great place to share our love for British cars. You can support our efforts by upgrading your membership for less than the dues of most car clubs. There are some perks with a member upgrade!
    **Upgrade Now**
    (PS: Upgraded members don't see this banner, nor will you see the Google ads that appear on the site.)
Tips
Tips

Had to share this, laughed outloud.

Share this page

jlaird

jlaird

Great Pumpkin
Country flag
Offline
Craigslist Ad

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah )

I am the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't because it was that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 . 45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your baggy pants that were hanging half way to your ankles. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. So I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead, making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry........... chow!!!

Peace!
- Alex
 
That was great Jack..made me think as yesterday my best friend..a gal who is retired Air Force..and another good friend..my 77 year old lawyer, were standing in fron of my shop admiring her Ruger 45 with a laser sight. I had kept it for her while she was in Fl. for over five months. She was being descreet, had it wrapped up and was showing it to my atty. He said...don't be ashamed of it...don't conceal it..let people see it..its totally legal. If its concealed then its a crime. She lives alone in a not so great part of town..and her neighbors know she packs....I love the west. When we travel out in the boonies around here we take a weapon and a couple times have been stopped in roadblocks...ID checks, DWI checks etc. First thing you say is"officer..I have a weapon" They're always cool..look at you weapon and off you go.
 
Reminds me of the incident in Toronto a few years ago when a bunch of punks decided to swarm a guy for his coat and whatever, turnd out the guy was a professional kick boxer and sent about 5 of them to hospital.
 
Ahhh....the wild west! :smile: A friend of ours lived in Wyoming and she said out there the "law" is: Shoot, Shovel & SHUT UP! :laugh:
 
In a similar vein, this popped up on craigslist a few years ago.
Rated R for "language" and linked here instead of pasted into this space for that reason.

Hey, Crackhead!
 
Silverghost said:
Ahhh....the wild west! :smile: A friend of ours lived in Wyoming and she said out there the "law" is: Shoot, Shovel & SHUT UP! :laugh:
Click to expand...

Don't know about the "wild west", but it happened twice in a week in Orlando, last week I think.

I don't know much about the second incident, but in the first one a customer walked in and saw the store being beaten by someone robbing the place. He walked out to call the cops, but then heard a woman screaming - so he grabbed his gun and legally solved the problem for everyone.
 
Silverghost said:
Ahhh....the wild west! :smile: A friend of ours lived in Wyoming and she said out there the "law" is: Shoot, Shovel & SHUT UP! :laugh:
Click to expand...

Several years ago in Montana (or as some call it, the "wild wild west), my wife and I were driving around town in our Spitfire, top down, minding our own business when a jeep loaded with 5 or 6 punks pulled up along side. They all started to harass and heckle us and make threats. I did my level best to just ignore them and continued to drive home. As I pulled up to my home, this jeep full of dirt bags came screeching up along side, blocking by exit from the car, and claiming I had flipped them off and they were going to kick my (bleep). (I had not flipped them off or even given them a side glance). Feeling that myself and my wife were in danger at this point, I calmly reached behind my seat and removed my Walther P-38. I did not even have to point it, or say a word. I simply took the gun and placed it in my lap and they took off like scalded cats! I fell like I was protecting myself and my wife and had they persisted and made further threatening moves toward me, yes, I would have fired. Luckily I did not have to.
 
Does anyone remember Bernie Getz the NYC subway guy who also defended himself from being robbed?
 
Interesting, I was just looking at a Kimber 1911 .45 caliber...still interested in it.
 
Hmm, I just picked up a 1943 manufactured Ithaca. Slightly worked over, with custom sights and trigger. Should I restore it? Time will tell.
 
Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911. A soothing voice at the other end says, Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead. After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone. Okay, he says nervously to the operator. What do I do next?
 
Basil said:
Silverghost said:
Ahhh....the wild west! :smile: A friend of ours lived in Wyoming and she said out there the "law" is: Shoot, Shovel & SHUT UP! :laugh:
Click to expand...

Several years ago in Montana (or as some call it, the "wild wild west), my wife and I were driving around town in our Spitfire, top down, minding our own business when a jeep loaded with 5 or 6 punks pulled up along side. They all started to harass and heckle us and make threats. I did my level best to just ignore them and continued to drive home. As I pulled up to my home, this jeep full of dirt bags came screeching up along side, blocking by exit from the car, and claiming I had flipped them off and they were going to kick my (bleep). (I had not flipped them off or even given them a side glance). Feeling that myself and my wife were in danger at this point, I calmly reached behind my seat and removed my Walther P-38. I did not even have to point it, or say a word. I simply took the gun and placed it in my lap and they took off like scalded cats! I fell like I was protecting myself and my wife and had they persisted and made further threatening moves toward me, yes, I would have fired. Luckily I did not have to.
Click to expand...


That scenario could have gone way, way south very qucikly, Basil. I'm so glad it didn't turn into a shootout, and tragedy. You are <span style="font-weight: bold">very, very </span>lucky that guy didn't whip out a Glock and start spraying bullets . . . really, it's unimaginable that he did not.

Just sayin' . . . whipping out a firearm will get you in far greater trouble than not in most cases. :yesnod:

You are so very fortunate that guy wasn't armed. If he had been, we probably wouldn't be chatting right now . . .
 
P-38, huh? Official NATO sidearm for decades.

"Why do you carry a gun?!?"

"'cause a cop's too heavy."

:smirk:
 
I'm locking this thread. I had a complaint, and regardless of how I feel, it could lead to a discussion of a controversial topic. Whether certain topics "should" be controversial is a different matter, but the fact is, some topics are, like it or not. Whatever my personal feelings are have no bearing on my decision, just trying to be consistent.

<span style="color: #FF0000">TO THE PERSON WHO COMPLAINED: Your PM Mailbox is Over the limit - Please clean it out! </span>
 
Back
Top