Great Insults

[maynard]

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:�"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”

"That depends, Sir, "�said Disraeli,�"whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

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"He had delusions of adequacy�."

-Walter Kerr

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"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

- Winston Churchill

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"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

-Clarence Darrow

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"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

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"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."

-Moses Hadas

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"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

-Mark Twain

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"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

-Oscar Wilde

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"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."

-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

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"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."

-Winston Churchill, in response

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"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

-Stephen Bishop

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"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

-John Bright

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"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

-Irvin S. Cobb

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"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."

-Samuel Johnson

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"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

- Paul Keating

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"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."

-Charles, Count Talleyrand

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"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."

-Forrest Tucker

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"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

-Mark Twain

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"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

-Mae West

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"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

-Oscar Wilde

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"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."

-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

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"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

-Billy Wilder

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"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."

-Groucho Marx

 

[JPSmit]

Brilliant! I admire people who can think like that so very much! (and not one needed twitter - coincidence?)

 

[NutmegCT]

Bachelors know more about women than married men do; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
- H. L. Mencken

 

[waltesefalcon]

Great group of insults. One of the other teachers in the English department has a great poster of insults from Shakespeare, I'll have to go copy some of them down for this post.

 

[Popeye]

Great list!!

My dad gave me a book of insults a few years back. Great reading! A little swearing, but the majority of the insults are clever uses of everyday words (that I can use with my little girls to teach them the power of language). Having said that, even the swearing insults are significantly more clever than typical 2010's Hollywood reference to carnal acts!