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Basil

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Reminds me of that old joke about a farmer who posts a want-ad.
WANTED: tractor and wife. If interested, please send photograph of tractor.
 
Brilliant! The other version - guy is at the Open, and notices that the seat in the gallery next to him is empty. He comments on this to the fellow on the ohter side of the empty seat. "Yes says the fellow, that was my wife's seat, we came to the Open together for years but this year she passed away."

Oh says the fellow, "but couldn't you have brought a friend?"

"no" says the guy, "they're all at the funeral."
 
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