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From the Boss' joke book
- Thread starter maynard
- Start date
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Puts me in mind ( I don't know why) of a Garrison Kiellor joke. Norwegian farm woman Lena went to doctor with a problem hearing in left ear. Doctor takes a look and says "I think I see a rectal suppository in there." Lena smacks her forehead and says "Now I know what I did with my hearing aid". I'll be here all week.
Bob
Bob
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Two Sisters were walking down the halls of St Michael's Hospital, when suddenly they see Sister Mary Theresa come out of the Monsignor's office and run, crying loudly, down the hall past them. The sisters, obviously concerned, go into the Monsignor's office to inquire what could be so terrible as to cause Sister Mary Theresa to run down the hallway crying like that.
Monsignor: "Well, I just informed Sister Mary Theresa that she's pregnant."
Two Nuns: "Oh my, this is terrible, how could this have happened?"
Monsignor:
Monsignor: "Well, I just informed Sister Mary Theresa that she's pregnant."
Two Nuns: "Oh my, this is terrible, how could this have happened?"
Monsignor:
"Relax, Sisters, she's not really pregnant, but I bet I cured her hiccups!"
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LOL...I understand!
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Seeing these two in short order reminds me of one of my favourite oldies but goodies.
A man goes to prison and the first night while he's laying in bed contemplating his situation, he hears someone yell out, "44!" Followed by laughter from the other prisoners.
He thought that was pretty odd, then he heard someone else yell out, "72!" Followed by even more laughter.
"What's going on?" he asked his cellmate.
"Well, we've all heard every joke so many times, we've given them each a number to make it easier."
"Oh," he says, "can I try?"
"Sure, go ahead."
So, he yells out "102!" and the place goes nuts. People are whooping and laughing in a hysteria. He looks at his cellmate rolling on the ground with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard.
"Hey, what happened?"
"Well, some people can tell a joke, some people can't."
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And, when I googled it to save typing it out I discovered a new version - woot!
A man goes to prison and the first night while he's laying in bed contemplating his situation, he hears someone yell out, "44!" Followed by laughter from the other prisoners.
He thought that was pretty odd, then he heard someone else yell out, "72!" Followed by even more laughter.
"What's going on?" he asked his cellmate.
"Well, we've all heard every joke so many times, we've given them each a number to make it easier."
"Oh," he says, "can I try?"
"Sure, go ahead."
So, he yells out "102!" and the place goes nuts. People are whooping and laughing in a hysteria. He looks at his cellmate rolling on the ground with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard.
"Wow, good joke huh?"
"Yeah! We ain't never heard that one before!"
A man goes to prison and the first night while he's laying in bed contemplating his situation, he hears someone yell out, "44!" Followed by laughter from the other prisoners.
He thought that was pretty odd, then he heard someone else yell out, "72!" Followed by even more laughter.
"What's going on?" he asked his cellmate.
"Well, we've all heard every joke so many times, we've given them each a number to make it easier."
"Oh," he says, "can I try?"
"Sure, go ahead."
So, he yells out "102!" and the place goes nuts. People are whooping and laughing in a hysteria. He looks at his cellmate rolling on the ground with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard.
"Wow, good joke huh?"
"Yeah! We ain't never heard that one before!"
I cleaned this up
Two Irish nuns were sitting in their car at a traffic light when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulled up alongside.
"Hey, show us your boobs you bloody penguins!" shouted one of the drunks.
The Mother Superior turns to Sister Margaret and says "I don't think they know who we are. Show them your cross!"
So Sister Margaret rolls down her window and shouts, "Sod off you little [deleted] wankers before I get out and rip your [deleted] testicles off!"
Sister Margaret looks back at the Mother Superior and asks, "Was that cross enough?"