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AweMan
Jedi Knight
Offline
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at
The
Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed,
And
Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest,
It is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must
Tell
You, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been
Administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short,
But
You have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It sure is
Good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any
Entrance
Exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.
Life was a big enough test
As it was."
St. Peter continued, "Yes, I
Know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
First:
What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?
Third:
What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions
Over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and
Says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell
Me
Your answers"
Forrest replied, "Well, the
First one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes opened wide and
He exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have
A
Point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that
Answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year?
Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about
That,
And I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve?
Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve
Seconds
In a year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's
Got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "
"Hold it," interrupts St.
Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,
Though
That was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you
Credit
For that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.
Can you tell me God's first name"?
"Sure," Forrest replied,
"it's Andy."
"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated
And frustrated St Peter.
"Ok, I can understand how you
Came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the
World did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest
One of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song, "ANDY WALKS
WITH
ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
And said: "Run Forrest, run."
The
Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed,
And
Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest,
It is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must
Tell
You, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been
Administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short,
But
You have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It sure is
Good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any
Entrance
Exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.
Life was a big enough test
As it was."
St. Peter continued, "Yes, I
Know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
First:
What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?
Third:
What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions
Over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and
Says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell
Me
Your answers"
Forrest replied, "Well, the
First one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes opened wide and
He exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have
A
Point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that
Answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year?
Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about
That,
And I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve?
Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve
Seconds
In a year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's
Got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "
"Hold it," interrupts St.
Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,
Though
That was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you
Credit
For that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.
Can you tell me God's first name"?
"Sure," Forrest replied,
"it's Andy."
"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated
And frustrated St Peter.
"Ok, I can understand how you
Came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the
World did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest
One of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song, "ANDY WALKS
WITH
ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
And said: "Run Forrest, run."
