And now for a followup:
I bought the Harbor Freight slide hammer and yes, the threads on it did match the ViceGrips as described. I clamped those things down as hard as I could on one of the pins and all that happened was deforming the pin before the ViceGrips slid off. Attempt 2 involved sharpening the jaws so they would actually bite into the metal on the pin - which resulted in yet more damage to the pin but exactly zero movement.
The "use the old flywheel as a guide to drill it out" technique resulted in just a broken drill bit and an even more mangled pin....
I ended up taping off the whole mess (to avoid metal filings into the seal and bolt holes) and getting downright medieval with the angle grinder to remove all but the last card-thickness of the pin, following up with a dremel tool to work it down just below flush (could feel a slight concavity with a bare finger - no ridges or bumps - did my best to minimize removal of any metal on the crank shoulder itself).
Unfortunately this was a far less refined of a technique than I wanted, but the end result is that I did get the new flywheel mounted and could not discern any gap or uneven seating of the flywheel with the bolts barely snugged down (10 feet of torque). I then removed the bolts, fitted the locktab plate and walked them down evenly side to side at 10 pound increments until I reached the specified 40, then flipped over the locktabs to make it a done deal...