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Finally, a bar were everyone understands me

maynard

Jedi Warrior
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smart-labs-jpg.1732973
 

JPSmit

Moderator
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I presume the beer selection suggests it has gone to the dogs? :grin:
 

Gliderman8

Yoda
Silver
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looks like a flea market.
 

anarchy99

Jedi Warrior
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Hopefully the one thing that has there attention towards the camera is the camera man holding up a decent beer... Busch light should be considered cruelty to humans and animals alike.
 
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A puppy walks into a saloon and asks for a drink. The bartender says we don't serve dogs here and shoots him in the foot. The next day, the doors to the saloon swing open and in walks the puppy. He's wearing a big cowboy hat, a bandana, chaps, boots, spurs. Around his waist is a gun belt with two pearl handled 6 shooters. He walks up to the bar and says:










I'm looking for the man what shot my paw!
 

mikephillips

Luke Skywalker
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OK, if we're going to get into puppy jokes, here's a tasteless one.

How do you make ae dead puppy walk??

10 dead puppies and a yard of concrete...
 

pdplot

Yoda
Bronze
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Man to talent agent: "I have a talking dog".
Agent: "Let's hear him talk"
Man: "What's on top of a house?" Dog: "Roof!"
Agent: "What?"
Man: What's the opposite of smooth?" Dog: "Ruff!"
Agent: "I'll give you one more chance!"
Man: "Who is the all-time New York Yankee?" Dog: "Ruth".
Agent: "That's it. Get outta here!"
Dog to Man, as they walk outside: "Gehrig?"
 

Madflyer

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A salesman driving in the South sees a sign. WORLD FAMOUS HUNTING DOGS. As a gun club member and hunter he stops? He askes about the breeders dogs so what is so great about your dogs? Breeder- They are water dogs that walk on water to retrieve birds so much faster than any other dogs. Salesman- show me. OK and it was true the dog ran across the water. The Salesman payed the $ 5,000.00 on the spot.
Back at home he went to the club to show off his new dog. Sure enough the dog ran across the water all day but no one said a word!! While sitting alone at the club bar finally another member asked what he had payed for his new dog. Happily he said $5,000.00 after a short look at his dog the member says. All that money and it can't even swim.
Madflyer
 

JPSmit

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This cowboy is driving along one day and he sees a sign that says "Bird dawg for sale - $1000". Well, he can't believe that a dog could be worth that much, so he drives to the house to check it out. He comes up to a farm house with a old farmer sitting on the porch with an old dog."Hear you got a bird dog you think is worth $1000." Farmer leans back in his chair. "A-yuh." Cowboy pushes back his hat. "Suppose you let me see this dog workin', I'll let ya know." Farmer looks down at the dog. "Point!", he says. Dog gets up and trots off into the woods. He comes back in a few minutes, barks twice, and lays down. Cowboy asks what that's mean. Farmer says "That means there be two pheasant in them wood." Well, they walk a bit into the woods, and sure enough, they flush out two pheasant.
"Aw, that's just coincidence," says the cowboy. "Naw, watch this! Point!" Dog goes off into the field. He comes back five minutes later, barks four times, and lays down again. The two men walk into the field and flush four more pheasant. The cowboys starts grinnin', reaches into his wallet & pulls out ten hundred dollar bill. "Looks like you got yerself a deal!" He puts the dog in the back of his truck and heads home to show off his find to his buddies. "Point!", he says, and the dog goes off...
..
...
Twenty minutes later, he comes back, covered in sticky- burrs, with this big stick in his mouth. He runs up to the cowboy, shaking the stick back and forth, then drops the stick and jumps up and starts humping him on the leg. Well, the cowboy, being a good Baptist, isn't taking well to this. So he throws the dog back in the truck, and heads back to the farmhouse. "Whut's the matter?" says the farmer. "He ain't good enought for you?" So the cowboy tells his tale to the farmer, who doubles over with laughter. "Boy, you gist don't know what that dawg was tryin' to tell ya!" Cowboy looks confused. "What was that dog trying to tell me, old man?"

"He's just-a tryin' to tell ya that there's more f-----g pheasant out there then you kin shake a stick at!"
 

DrEntropy

Great Pumpkin
Gold
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JP, I'm still laughin'!! I'd heard that so many years ago i'd forgotten it. Next drink's on me.

...this one's all over me already...
 

JPSmit

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JP, I'm still laughin'!! I'd heard that so many years ago i'd forgotten it. Next drink's on me.

...this one's all over me already...

One of my very favourites. :thumbsup:
 

Harold

Senior Member
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A city man driving around in the country sees a sign "Talking dog for sale--$10"---he says to himself--I gotta see this--so he walks up to house, and asks the owner
about the dog--"the dog can talk?"--the farmer yep--he's in back--go talk to him--So the city dude asks the dog "what's your story?"--the dog says when I was a young
pup, I realize I could talk--the owner sold me to an FBI agent--so I would go with him and listen in on conversations that the bad guys didn't know I could hear--then
report back--then after a few years--I went with a narcotics agent on his rounds, and listened in on drug dealers--then report back--after a few years,. I decided to settle
down and raise a family--now I have 3 wonderful pups--life is sweet----So the city man went around the house, and said "that dog is amazing--all those wonderful
adventures--but why are you selling him?" The farmer said "'cause he's a big liar!--he's never been out of the back yard!"
 
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Mickey Richaud

Moderator
Staff member
Platinum
Online
Man to talent agent: "I have a talking dog".
Agent: "Let's hear him talk"
Man: "What's on top of a house?" Dog: "Roof!"
Agent: "What?"
Man: What's the opposite of smooth?" Dog: "Ruff!"
Agent: "I'll give you one more chance!"
Man: "Who is the all-time New York Yankee?" Dog: "Ruth".
Agent: "That's it. Get outta here!"
Dog to Man, as they walk outside: "Gehrig?"


Here's the version I remember from way back when:

 

Madflyer

Jedi Warrior
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The farmer had a pet Pig, one night his house had a fire the pig woke the farmer and dragged him from the house that saved the farmers life. The next week the press came to interview the farmer and see the now famous pig. At there surprise they saw the pig only had three legs. When ask what had happen to his pig Farmer said **** he saved my life I could not eat him all at ounce. Madflyer
 

maynard

Jedi Warrior
Online
Looking at the picture again, I think it may be a Lab test about Busch light.
 
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