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February 9th will forever be different

Basil

Administrator
Staff member
Boss
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I have gone back and forth with myself whether to post about this, but I guess it might help to get it off my chest. February 9th used to hold significance for me because it was the day back in 1964 when The Beatles hit the American airwaves on the Ed Sullivan show. That was the beginning of a life-long love affair with, not just the Beatles, but music and the guitar. From now on, however, Feb 9th will have a different, less cheerful meaning for me. It was this past Saturday, Feb 9th, that I lost my very best friend and co-worker (for 15 years), Rory. He went into the VA hospital on MLK day thinking he had the flu, but they discovered he had pneumonia and a blood clot in his lung. From the moment he was admitted he went downhill fast and they ended up putting him in an induced coma and on a respirator. I went to visit him every night after work, hoping against hope that he would turn the corner, but it was not to be.

When I went in to visit him this past Friday, I was told that they had decided his lungs were too badly damaged and they were going to remove him from life support the following morning. That Friday was the last time I would see my best friend alive. He died at 10AM the next morning. If I seem a little bummed out lately, that probably has something to do with it. His services are this Friday, 15 Feb and burial in the Veterans' cemetery in Santa Fe. We were the same age, which is too say too danged young to go like this.
 
We have what we have. Keep your friends close, your family closer.

Hateful things come faster the longer we live.

Sorry you lost the friendship of Rory. Be sure he never lost yours.
 
My condolences, Boss.
 
My condolences to you and to his family
 
My condolences, Boss.

My condolences to you and to his family


Thanks, guys. This is a tough one for me. We were kinda like brothers in many regards. What makes the situation especially difficult is that he was raising a son by himself and his son has a serious brain disorder. Now the son will live with Grandmother, but grandmother is 80 years old!
 
My condolences as well...
 
Sorry for your loss.
 
My great aunt once told me that the hardest part of getting older was watching all your friends die. She was right.

Sorry for your loss, Basil.
 
Sorry for your loss.
 
I am so sorry to hear of this. You have had a rough time of it lately, Basil and this just tops it off. Doc put it very eloquently as usual, and I can't improve on what he said. We must all aspire to being as sorely missed when it's our time to go.
 
MY heart goes out to all his friends and family. Remember the good times Bas. I lost my "big brother" in '98 at the end of February. From, let's say "Complications" from an undiagnosed mental illness that had started to manifest it's self as he got older. I guess that's why I totally agree with your support of that organization for mental health. It's a hurt that has never left, but a host of wonderful memories I cherish. I tend to think a lot about him this time of year.
 
MY heart goes out to all his friends and family. Remember the good times Bas. I lost my "big brother" in '98 at the end of February. From, let's say "Complications" from an undiagnosed mental illness that had started to manifest it's self as he got older. I guess that's why I totally agree with your support of that organization for mental health. It's a hurt that has never left, but a host of wonderful memories I cherish. I tend to think a lot about him this time of year.

Sorry to hear of your loss too. The lady I'm teaching a current Family-to-Family class with (my "co-teacher") recently lost her daughter to mental illness. The suicide rate among those affected with serious brain disorders is much higher than in the general populace.

The movie Lincoln has been talked about here (different thread). Folks may not know that Abraham Lincoln suffered from major depression. In our course, there is a section where we quote him:

I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on Earth. Whether I shall ever be better, I cannot tell. I awfully forebode I shall not. To remain as I am is impossible. I must die or be better, it appears to me." -- Abraham Lincoln

But as for my friend, Rory, he had a wonderful sendoff yesterday. Being that he was a former State representative, there were several pols in attendance including the Mayor of Albuquerque. Janice-Arnold Jones, recent candidate for Congress gave the Eulogy (and it was amazing). Many people got up and said a few words about Rory, including me. I said "I am reminded of the movie "It's a wonderful life" in the sense that people, like Rory, often have no idea of the real impact they have or how they have touched people in their lives. For myself, my friendship with Rory was such that he made me want to be a better man."

I was also honored to be a pall bearer for my friend. He will be missed.
 
That's awesome Basil. When you gotta go , it's wonderful to have a sendoff like that. That makes it easier.
I did know that about Lincoln. It's funny how the most amazing people in history almost always had a deep dark side as well. I guess It goes with the territory. My cousin, that I spoke of above was brilliant. He left a huge notebook full of inventions, a tape full of original songs, was an extra class HAM radio operator, and taught me most all I know about the outdoors and camping. His death was not a suicide, but was a direct result of an "episode". It was a shock. he was only 34. Enough about my stuff, this is your thread. sorry for the hijack.
Your friend sounds awesome. That was too early.
 
Very sorry to hear of your loss. Obviously, his death was a great loss to many people.

And I am heartbroken to hear of the situation with his son. I'm sure his grandmother will make a good effort, but it's clearly not an ideal situation.
 
Very sorry to hear of your loss. Obviously, his death was a great loss to many people.

And I am heartbroken to hear of the situation with his son. I'm sure his grandmother will make a good effort, but it's clearly not an ideal situation.

That's for sure. I am planning to keep in close contact with them and try to take John under my wing a little if I can.
 
Seems to be a trend with January/February in my life. I've had too many friends, parents and pets leave the table this time of year. Just got word from a friend of over forty years, truly one of two. His mom has passed last week. She had a good run, managed to get into her late 80's. Still doesn't make it easier. His dad is still going, now 90 and heartbroken.

Did I ever mention: I HATE winter?
 
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