Fat Lady

[PAUL161]

A little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady.

The little boy says, "Hey dad, look how fat that lady is!"

"Shh, quiet son, she'll hear you," the father says.

"But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!"

"Shhh, don't say that son, it's not nice!"

"But dad, LOOK HOW BIG AND FAT THAT LADY IS!"

"Shhh, don't say that son, it's not nice and it's rude!"

Suddenly the fat lady's beeper goes off.

"LOOK OUT DAD, SHE'S BACKING UP!" the son screams.

 

[jsfbond]

Related; This joke is best told with a really good down east accent.... Alby and Emma were coming out of church one morning, and when they stopped to shake the preachers hand he looked up and exclaimed
"Why Alby you've got a black eye, how on earth did that happen?"
(time for that accent) "Well" Alby says " I got this shiner this morning, right here in your church"
The preacher is somewhat taken aback and says "Oh you big liar you did not"
Alby says(time for that accent) "I most certainly did!"
"Well" the preacher says " Tell me what happened."
So Alby goes on(time for that accent) " You know how you got us standing up to sing, and sittin down to pray, and then standing up to sing again, and then sittin down to pray?"
"Yes, what about it?" the preacher asks.
(time for that accent)"There was a fat lady in front of me today, and one of those times we were standing up to sing, I noticed that her dress was all caught up in her bum, so I just reached out there real gentle like and tugged it out.....and she slugged me!"
"Oh my" says the preacher "From now on don't do that and you should be alright."
On the very next Sunday here comes Alby and Emma out of the church again, and the preacher sees that Ably has another black eye!?
"Well Alby "he says" What happened to you?"
So Alby says (time for that accent)"Preacher I got this other black eye right here your church this morning."
"Oh you did not!" The preacher replies.
(time for that accent)"Well, yes sir I most certainly did!" says Alby.
"So tell me , What happened this time?" The preacher asks.
(time for that accent) " You know how you got us standing up to sing, and sittin down to pray, and then standing up to sing again, and then sittin down to pray?"
"Yes" he answers "Go on."
(time for that accent) "I noticed that that same fat lady was right in front of me again today, and I also noticed that one of the times we stood up to sing that her dress was all caught up in her bum again," says Alby
"Don't tell me you did it again?" ask the preacher.
(time for that accent) "No sir, I learned my lesson last week." Alby goes on "But there was a fellow standing right next to me, and he reached out there and tugged that dress out real gentle like, well I know that she didn't like that so I tucked it right back up there!"