Farmer and the mule

[NutmegCT]

Farmer buys a mule. Mule won't go into the barn - its ears are long and they touch the barn roof.

Farmer tries to raise up the barn so the mule's ears won't touch the roof.

Wife says - why not just dig out the floor, so the mule walks in lower?

Farmer: "Dag nab it - It's his ears that are too tall, not the legs!"

 

[pdplot]

Farmer has a talking mule. Showbiz agent comes up and asks to hear the mule talk. Farmer agrees. Picks up a 2 X 4 and smashes the mule on the side of the head. Agent says "What didya do that for?" Farmer says"First, you gotta get his attention". Good old warmup joke for a public speaker.

 

[dklawson]

A farmer and his new bride are riding in a mule drawn cart back from the church to their house.
Along the way the mule baulks.
The farmer gets out of the cart, walks up to the mule and tells him "That's One".
They continue their drive and the mule baulks a second time. The farmer gets out and tells the mule "That's Two".
They continue on again and the mule baulks a third time. The farmer gets out and shoots the mule in the head.

The farmer returns to the cart to help his bride down for the walk home.
The bride immediately rails against her husband asking him what kind of idiot he must be to shoot the mule.
The farmer turns to his wife and says "That's One"