Hey Guest!
Hey - did you know if you click on the title of a thread it will take you to the first unread post since you last visited that thread?
but were afraid to ask: 
STOP!! Never post your email address in open forums. Bots can "harvest" your email! If you must share your email use a Private Message or use the 
smilie in place of the real @
Pretty Please - add it to our Events forum(s) and add to the calendar! >> 
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My offering to you this Sunday morning (from the endless source of cyber-space):
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending church.
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at the service often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.
KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most mainline denominations can recognize besides gyros and baklava.
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO (the Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough).
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in churches.
PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of the service consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of the service led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
RELICS: People who have been going to church for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel and stand.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending church.
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at the service often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.
KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most mainline denominations can recognize besides gyros and baklava.
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO (the Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough).
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in churches.
PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of the service consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of the service led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
RELICS: People who have been going to church for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel and stand.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.
