Hi Guest!
Hey - did you know if you click on the title of a thread it will take you to the first unread post since you last visited that thread?
but were afraid to ask: 
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smilie in place of the real @
Pretty Please - add it to our Events forum(s) and add to the calendar! >> 
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4 out of 5 voices in my head say "Go For It!"
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
A fool and his money are my best friends.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Before giving someone a piece of your mind, be sure you have enough to spare.
Black Holes are where God divided by zero.
Bottomless pit of needs & wants.
Boycott shampoo! Demand REAL poo!
Brain dysfunction detected.
Cats: The other white meat.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Depression: anger without enthusiasm.
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
Don't sweat petty things or pet sweaty things.
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Forget about world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
Freudian slip - when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Get In, Sit Down, Shut Up & Hang On.
Go on. I'll see you at the next traffic light.
Hangover: the wrath of grapes.
Having a Smoking Section in a restaurant is like having a Peeing Section in a pool.
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
He who laughs last has the best lawyer.
Health: the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Heavily medicated for your safety.
heck hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy.
I'm out of bed and dressed - what more do you want?
I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be fixed with the right amount of C4.
I brake for fairies, elves, gnomes, leprechauns, and other invisible creatures that only I can see.
I child-proofed my house but they still get in.
I didn't work my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables.
I have a nice body. It's in my trunk.
I have good Brakes, Do you have GOOD Insurance?
I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
I put in contacts for this?
I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
If it's too loud, you're too old.
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough.
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
It's not whether you win or lose. What counts is whether I win or lose.
Just 2,953,377 more days till I start caring what you think.
Kids in the front seat cause accidents; accidents in the backseat cause kids.
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
Lotto: A tax on people who don't understand statistics.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
A fool and his money are my best friends.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Before giving someone a piece of your mind, be sure you have enough to spare.
Black Holes are where God divided by zero.
Bottomless pit of needs & wants.
Boycott shampoo! Demand REAL poo!
Brain dysfunction detected.
Cats: The other white meat.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Depression: anger without enthusiasm.
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
Don't sweat petty things or pet sweaty things.
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Forget about world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
Freudian slip - when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Get In, Sit Down, Shut Up & Hang On.
Go on. I'll see you at the next traffic light.
Hangover: the wrath of grapes.
Having a Smoking Section in a restaurant is like having a Peeing Section in a pool.
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
He who laughs last has the best lawyer.
Health: the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Heavily medicated for your safety.
heck hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy.
I'm out of bed and dressed - what more do you want?
I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be fixed with the right amount of C4.
I brake for fairies, elves, gnomes, leprechauns, and other invisible creatures that only I can see.
I child-proofed my house but they still get in.
I didn't work my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables.
I have a nice body. It's in my trunk.
I have good Brakes, Do you have GOOD Insurance?
I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
I put in contacts for this?
I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
If it's too loud, you're too old.
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough.
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
It's not whether you win or lose. What counts is whether I win or lose.
Just 2,953,377 more days till I start caring what you think.
Kids in the front seat cause accidents; accidents in the backseat cause kids.
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
Lotto: A tax on people who don't understand statistics.
