Blonde Jokes

[JamesWilson]

Its been a very long time since any Blonde jokes were posted... have they become politically incorrect?


These have an automotive connection:

Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: Why do blondes drive VW's ?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.

Q: What's a blonde behind the wheel?
A: Airbag.
Q: What's 2 blondes in a car?
A: Dual Airbags.


And the one that amused me most:

Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.

 

[JamesWilson]

Another, proper joke:

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

 

[lesingepsycho]

-A blonde walks into a bank in New York and asks for a loan. She explains that she is going to Europe for two weeks on business and needs to borrow 5,000 dollars.
-The agent explains that the bank will need something as collateral so the blond takes out the keys to her new Rolls Royce. The Rolls is parked out in front of the bank, she has all the papers and title and everything is in order.
-The bank accepts and takes the car as collateral for the loan.
-As soon as the woman leaves, the director and all of his agents bust in laughter. "Only a blond would leave a $250,000 Rolls as collateral on a $5,000 loan".
-Once they've regained their composure an employee is sent to park the car in the banks underground garage.

-Two weeks later, the blond comes back. She repays the loan of $5,000 plus the interest which came to exactly 15 dollars and 41 cents.
-The banker says "Miss, we are very happy to have done business with you and this transaction has gone very smoothly but we are a little perplexed. During your absence we took some verifications on your part and discovered that you are a multi-millionnaire! Why then have you borrowed 5,000 dollars?"
-The blond responds, "Where else in New York could I have parked my car for two weeks and expect to get it back when I returned?"
-Everyone says that blonds are idiots, but even bigger idiots... bankers! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jester.gif


JACK

 

[tinman730]

2 blondes walk into a building.

you'd think one would have seen it

 

[mailbox]

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif

 

[sparkydave]

The blonde jumped out of her car and warned the truck ahead of her that he's losing his load. The truck driver ignores her, and they go a little farther until she gets out and tells him again that he's losing his load. "Ma'am, this is a salt truck".

 

[Roger]

How does a blonde turn on the light after sex? She opens the car door . .

 

[jerrybny]

My Oh My a bad day for blondes in BCF. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cheers.gif

 

[JamesWilson]

[ QUOTE ]
My Oh My a bad day for blondes in BCF. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cheers.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

A bad year:

TO: My Boss
FROM: Ms. Blondie
SUBJECT: Changing Calendars For Y2K

I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all the company calendars for you. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months:

Januark
Februark
Mak
Julk

I also changed all the days of each week to:

Sundak
Mondak
Tuesdak
Wednesdak
Thursdak
Fridak
Saturdak

We are now Y to K compliant.
Your loyal secretary!
Blondie