and then the fight started

[weewillie]

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.


She asked, 'What's on TV?'


I said, 'Dust.'


And then the fight started...


======================================================================


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.


She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3

seconds.'


I bought her new bath scales.


And then the fight started...


====================================================================


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace

expensive....


so, I took her to a gas station...


And then the fight started....


====================================================================


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I

kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a

nearby table.


My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'


'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.. I understand she took to

drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she

hasn't been sober since.'


'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?'


And then the fight started...


===========================================================


I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road


and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes


you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?


Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!


He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'


So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'


And then the fight started...


========================================================================================


THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER


When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me

that I should get it fixed.


But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the

truck, the car, playing golf


Always something more important to me.


Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived

home one day,


I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny

pair of sewing scissors.


I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I


was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a


toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as


well sweep the driveway.'


The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.