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Courtesy of The Nevada County Scooper :
Keith Richards Found Not Dead in San Francisco Hotel
“With a very heavy heart, I am sad to announce that sometime early this morning, Rolling Stones guitarist, Keith Richards was found still alive.” said Ms. D’lune choking back tears, “He was found in his suite, sitting in a chair, watching Jamie Oliver reruns on the tele. Emergency personnel were summoned and exhaustive attempts were made to revive him, but since Mr. Richards was not dead, that was deemed unnecessary.”
Keith Richards Found Not Dead in San Francisco Hotel
“With a very heavy heart, I am sad to announce that sometime early this morning, Rolling Stones guitarist, Keith Richards was found still alive.” said Ms. D’lune choking back tears, “He was found in his suite, sitting in a chair, watching Jamie Oliver reruns on the tele. Emergency personnel were summoned and exhaustive attempts were made to revive him, but since Mr. Richards was not dead, that was deemed unnecessary.”