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KLUTZ
Luke Skywalker
Offline
This is hilarious!!
Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they
aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness to the stand. A grandmotherly, elderly
woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've
known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a
big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on
your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind
their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he
pointed across the room and asked,
Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again
replied, "why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state.
Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different
women. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died! At this point, the judge
brought the courtroom to silence, called both counselors to the
bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "if either of you ....ards
asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt."
Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they
aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness to the stand. A grandmotherly, elderly
woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've
known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a
big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on
your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind
their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he
pointed across the room and asked,
Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again
replied, "why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state.
Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different
women. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died! At this point, the judge
brought the courtroom to silence, called both counselors to the
bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "if either of you ....ards
asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt."
