Thought this recent email might be germain to this thread!!!
Subject: FW: Florida Lifestyle(reasons not to go????)
A TYPICAL DAY IN RETIREMENT IN FLORIDA
We get up at 5:00 am, have a quick breakfast and join the early
morning Walk and Talk Club. There are about 30 of us. Rain or shine
we walk around the streets, all talking at once. After a nimble walk
avoiding irate drivers out to make us road kill, we go back home,
shower and change for the next activity.
My wife goes directly to the pool for her under water Pilates class,
followed by gasping for breath and CPR.
I put on my 'Ask me about my Grandchildren' T-shirt, my mid-calf
shorts, my socks and sandals and go to the club house lobby for a nice
nap.
Before you know it it's time for lunch. We go to Costco to partake of
the many tasty samples dispensed by ladies in white hair nets. All
free! After a filling lunch, if we don't have any doctor
appointments, we might go to the flea market to buy a Rolex watch for
$2.00.
We're usually back home by 2 PM to get ready for dinner. People start
lining up for the early bird about 3 PM, but we get there by 3:45 because we are late eaters. The dinners are very popular because of the large portions they serve. You can take home enough food for the next day's lunch and dinner, including extra bread, crackers, sweet-and-low packets and mints.
At 5:30 pm we're home ready to watch the 6 o'clock news. By 6:30 we're
fast asleep. Then we get up and make 5 or 6 trips to the bathroom
during the night and it's time to get up and start a new day all over
again.
Doctor related activities will eat up most of your retirement time. I
enjoy reading old magazines in sub zero temperatures in the waiting
room, so I don't mind. Calling for test results also help the days fly
by. It takes at least half an hour just getting through the doctor's
phone menu. Then there is the hold time until you are connected to the
right party. Sometimes they forget you are holding, and the whole
office goes to lunch.
Many of the receptionists are quite rude. They keep you standing at
that dopey little, closed glass window, totally ignoring you. After
1/2 an hour, I ignore the 'Do not tap on the window' sign and tap on
the window. This always drives them nuts. If you do, they put down
their Egg McMuffin or their copy of the Enquirer, and fling open the
window, ready for a fight. I lie, explaining I tapped on the window
accidentally because I have Parkinson's.
They claim they are required to keep the window closed because of the
privacy law but I don't believe it. Are they afraid if I were to overhear Sol Lipshitz has hemorrhoids, that I would blackmail him or sell the information to a foreign government? In Florida everyone has hemorrhoids!
Choosing a development with suitable amenities is an important
decision. The various clubs in these communities provide most of the
activities. Our development has over 300 clubs. There's something for
everyone. Clubs like the kidney donating club, the Taliban Club, the
East meets West club, not to be confused with the West meets East
club, etc. A truly active community is one where the ambulance is
there several times a day and is part of the Travel Club.
Mostly, it's important to choose a development with an impressive
name. Italian names are very popular in Florida . They convey... world
traveler, uppity sophistication and wealth. Where would you rather
live... Murray 's Condo's or the Lakes Of Venice ? There is no
difference. They are both owned by Murray who happens to be a cheap
SOB.
I hope this material has been of some help to you future retirees. If
I can be of any further assistance, please look me up when you're in
Florida . I live in 'The Leaning Condos of Pisa,' in Boynton Beach.
