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Stories of "I Can't Be THAT Dumb"
- Thread starter LAW75
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I had a '63 Valiant Signet with the slant six. Very reliable. I was on Treasure Island, returning from the Naval Station there, headed toward San Francisco. I looked over my left shoulder to make sure it was clear before "flooring it" to "accelerate" onto the Bay Bridge. Seeing that I was clear, I "accelerated." Seconds later I hear an loud air horn and see nothing but a big chrome slab of a semi bumper in my rear-view mirror. That's when I decided that I needed to make like CAPT Kirk and get "More power Scottie."
Thus the 340. Power was great, handling was not so good. When the heads needed to come off a second time for a burned valve, it went bye-bye. By then 100+ octane pump gas was no more, and I had to back off on the timing. That's when I got my first LBC, a TR-4A.
Thus the 340. Power was great, handling was not so good. When the heads needed to come off a second time for a burned valve, it went bye-bye. By then 100+ octane pump gas was no more, and I had to back off on the timing. That's when I got my first LBC, a TR-4A.
WHT
Jedi Hopeful
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I had just graduated from college the prior year, was working at my first real job, and had also been married for 6 months (and yes, we are still married 46 years later) - lots of new life experiences the first year after graduation.
My wife was learning to drive the 914 Porsche I purchased after starting work, and she was having difficulty driving a 5-speed transmission. She tended to bring the engine to a constant 5000 RPM and then use the clutch to vary speed as she needed. A police officer once stopped her and asked (with a smile on his face) where she had stolen the car.
I was working in downtown Houston and drove her old beater Ford Maverick while she drove the 914. You had a 90 percent chance of having your car broken into when parking downtown using public lots.
After six months of this treatment she told me the car would not move in gear and I assumed the poor clutch had finally bitten the dust. So I removed the engine to install a new clutch disk without giving it much thought. I learned to drop the engine and replace it in about 2 hours during the time we owned the car.
Further inspection showed one of the half-shaft bearings had ruptured in the transaxle (a very easy fix) and the clutch was fine. I never told her what the real problem was.
My wife was learning to drive the 914 Porsche I purchased after starting work, and she was having difficulty driving a 5-speed transmission. She tended to bring the engine to a constant 5000 RPM and then use the clutch to vary speed as she needed. A police officer once stopped her and asked (with a smile on his face) where she had stolen the car.
I was working in downtown Houston and drove her old beater Ford Maverick while she drove the 914. You had a 90 percent chance of having your car broken into when parking downtown using public lots.
After six months of this treatment she told me the car would not move in gear and I assumed the poor clutch had finally bitten the dust. So I removed the engine to install a new clutch disk without giving it much thought. I learned to drop the engine and replace it in about 2 hours during the time we owned the car.
Further inspection showed one of the half-shaft bearings had ruptured in the transaxle (a very easy fix) and the clutch was fine. I never told her what the real problem was.
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Healey Nut
Luke Skywalker
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Does installing the OD oil pump cam the wrong way round so you get no OD oil pressure count for āI can't be that dumbā?
healeyneil
Jedi Hopeful
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Going back 40 years, and newly married. The driveway at the side of the house sloped fairly steeply down to the base for the not-yet-built garage. The base had a 2 foot drop at the back.
One evening I was working on the front suspension of my wifeās Triumph Spitfire when one of my pals invited me to the pub. Two minutes, I said. Quickly bolted the brake calliper on, wheel on and off the axle stands, reversed out of the driveway onto the street and put the hand brake on. I drove my car - an Austin Mini van - down onto the garage base and followed it with the Spitfire, realising as I got to the bottom that I hadnāt pumped up the brakes after refitting the caliper.
I ran into the back of my own car, pushing it partially off the end of the garage base. Boy did I need a beer after that!
One evening I was working on the front suspension of my wifeās Triumph Spitfire when one of my pals invited me to the pub. Two minutes, I said. Quickly bolted the brake calliper on, wheel on and off the axle stands, reversed out of the driveway onto the street and put the hand brake on. I drove my car - an Austin Mini van - down onto the garage base and followed it with the Spitfire, realising as I got to the bottom that I hadnāt pumped up the brakes after refitting the caliper.
I ran into the back of my own car, pushing it partially off the end of the garage base. Boy did I need a beer after that!
AUSMHLY
Yoda
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How many times have you gotten into a new car you're not familiar with, and sit there with the deer in the headlights look thinking "Where's the emergency brake?" Old school, pull up brake handle next to your seat or pull handle under the dash. Or pedal brake, push on/off or push on, handle release.
You've spent enough time looking for it that you're now committed to find it and don't want to be embarrassed asking, Where's the emergency brake? Some cars have switches that blend into the dash or the console and with no writing on them that says brake.
Where is it...I can't be that dumb.
You've spent enough time looking for it that you're now committed to find it and don't want to be embarrassed asking, Where's the emergency brake? Some cars have switches that blend into the dash or the console and with no writing on them that says brake.
Where is it...I can't be that dumb.
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AUSMHLY
Yoda
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Thanks Moderator.I wouldn't touch any switch that had break written on it.
Danny
Moderator note: Danny wrote this response to the post immediately above before I corrected "break" to "brake" in AUSMHLY's post.
No wonder cars break down.
Online
I also always enjoy car ads listing "New breaks" or "Good breaks" among the car's virtues. Or maybe they're just being very honest!
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Judging by the number of times that happens, it doesn't count.
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You can also install the OD plunger rotated 180 degrees and it causes the plunger rod to bend. The fork on the end with the roller is assymetrical for clearances. No, I did not do this, but the PO of my car did and that us why the OD never worked for him. It jammed in the retracted position and stopped following the cam.
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Not sure if this is dumb, but it is frustrating:
Spent days looking for the tool to flush the cooling system. I know I had one but finally decided that the old one was gone. How to quickly find a missing tool or part? Purchase a new one, of course. As soon as I got the new one home and the package opened so it couldn't be returned, the old one appears.
Spent days looking for the tool to flush the cooling system. I know I had one but finally decided that the old one was gone. How to quickly find a missing tool or part? Purchase a new one, of course. As soon as I got the new one home and the package opened so it couldn't be returned, the old one appears.
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OK, this qualifies and is recent enough (yesterday) that I can remember it. Replacing the coolant on the MH, Ford E450 chassis:
Drain the radiator and degassing bottle (kind of like a translucent plastic, pressurized radiator overflow).
Drain the engine block.
Drain the coolant from the oil cooler.
Remove the thermostat. Replace the housing.
Heater is drained. Attach the flush fitting.
Flush the system until water is clear.
Drain the engine block.
Drain water from the oil cooler.
Make sure heater is drained using 10 psig compressed air.
Reinstall block plug.
Remove flush fitting and reconnect all hoses.
Close radiator drain.
Mix anti-freeze with distilled water until 50/50 mix.
Start filling system through degas bottle until the proper level is reached.
Once the system is full, realize I forgot to put the thermostat back in.
Drain new coolant. Fortunately, the clean bucket would hold enough to get the level below the thermostat.
Drain the radiator and degassing bottle (kind of like a translucent plastic, pressurized radiator overflow).
Drain the engine block.
Drain the coolant from the oil cooler.
Remove the thermostat. Replace the housing.
Heater is drained. Attach the flush fitting.
Flush the system until water is clear.
Drain the engine block.
Drain water from the oil cooler.
Make sure heater is drained using 10 psig compressed air.
Reinstall block plug.
Remove flush fitting and reconnect all hoses.
Close radiator drain.
Mix anti-freeze with distilled water until 50/50 mix.
Start filling system through degas bottle until the proper level is reached.
Once the system is full, realize I forgot to put the thermostat back in.
Drain new coolant. Fortunately, the clean bucket would hold enough to get the level below the thermostat.
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What? Nobody yet has owned up to wondering what that puddle of oil at your feet was as you are just finishing pouring the third quart of oil in your motor? All compounded by how much fun it is slithering through a couple quarts of fresh oil as you install the drain plug in the sump and send your clothes to the recycling bin. Not a Healey this time (yet), but a 79 Rabbit.
Paul
Paul
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I have to say that is absolutely the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. .... I mean never heard that anyone besides me has done that.
Here is an oldy but a goodie. I'm a retired helicopter mechanic so at this point in my life I can be comfortable in saying I know how to do a few things. This was not so when I had my first car at 18. Then, I wouldnt have known which end was the business end of a screwdriver or that almost everything was " righty tighty, lefty loosey".
I had used Toyota Corona, the first year model imported to the US in New York. It developed a squeal that I first thought was the fan belt but turned out to be an alternator bearing. A buddy and I yanked the alternator and called around until we found a "pick-and-pull" junk yard that said they had a wreck we could scavenge. We went there and plunked the " alternator" on the table and the proprietor started to laugh because the squealing bearing was in the pollution control system air pump we had rendered. It never occurred to us that this unit had only hoses eminating from it and not a single electrical wire. Fortunately he said " No matter, I can fix you up". It turned out the unit he sold us had a different fitting on it and since we left him the core we had to make it work. We ended up using a wine bottle cork from some cheap wine we consumed the night before to plug a tee fitting the the other pump didnt have for some reason.
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Most dangerous mistake at age 16. Outdoor pit at abandoned gas station. Going to put lowering spring shackles on my 1934 Ford convertible - my first car. It had one transverse spring front and rear. I took off the old shackle and BANG! The spring came down hard. If my hand had been under it.....Now, with darkness approaching, how was I going to lift up the end of the spring and slip the pin in the new longer shackle? I fought panic. Fortunately, my good friend Charley was with me and in his car was a scissors jack. He managed to wedge the jack under the spring and lifted it up while I slipped in the pin. Mission accomplished. I won't mention the several times I put new points back in the wrong order and the car would not start, We've all done that.
Latest mistake. Three days ago, I tried to replace the cabin filter in a 2002 Honda Accord I was trying to sell. Fighting my bad back, I took it apart with the aid of a video but wouldn't you know, after dismantling the plastic trim pieces and a few screws, I found that one of two remaining small Phillips screws was stripped and the other could not be budged. I didn't feel like dealing with the two remaining screws and didn't want to pay a mechanic to complete the job, so I started to put it back together. I replaced the small panel in front of the gearshift knob and now it was time for the big panel. But wait - where did the last screw for the big panel go? You guessed it - under the small panel, so I had to pry it off again. Next day, I took the new cabin filter back to NAPA and got my 28 bucks back. Let the new buyer deal with the stripped screw and the recalcitrant screw.
Latest mistake. Three days ago, I tried to replace the cabin filter in a 2002 Honda Accord I was trying to sell. Fighting my bad back, I took it apart with the aid of a video but wouldn't you know, after dismantling the plastic trim pieces and a few screws, I found that one of two remaining small Phillips screws was stripped and the other could not be budged. I didn't feel like dealing with the two remaining screws and didn't want to pay a mechanic to complete the job, so I started to put it back together. I replaced the small panel in front of the gearshift knob and now it was time for the big panel. But wait - where did the last screw for the big panel go? You guessed it - under the small panel, so I had to pry it off again. Next day, I took the new cabin filter back to NAPA and got my 28 bucks back. Let the new buyer deal with the stripped screw and the recalcitrant screw.