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Thought of the Day
- Thread starter JPSmit
- Start date
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hey Walk Among Us…
At Walmart:
Cashier rings up my total: $46.64.
I hand her a crisp $50 bill.
She looks me dead in the eye… and gives me back $46.64.
Me: “Uh… I think there’s a mistake.”
Her: “Sir, I am educated. I know what I’m doing.”
She pushes the money back like I’m trying to scam her.
So, I did what any responsible adult would do…
I walked out with $46.64 in change. They walk among us.
At Starbucks:
I handed the barista a Buy-One-Get-One-Free coupon.
She stared at it like it was the Rosetta Stone… then glanced at the chalkboard that read “Buy One, Get One Free.”
Her eyes lit up:
“Oh! That means… they’re both free!”
I didn’t argue. I just walked out… double-fisting my victory.
On the Beach:
Friend points dramatically:
“Look! A dead bird!”
Another friend looks up and asks:
“Where?!”
I… had no words.
At a House Viewing:
My brother asks which way is north so the sunrise won’t hit his window.
Agent thinks hard:
“Wait… does the sun rise in the north?”
She was… not joking.
“I don’t really keep up with all that stuff.”
Sun? Geography? Optional.
At the Call Center:
Guy calls and asks:
“What hours are you open?”
Me: “24/7, sir.”
Him: “Okay… but is that Eastern or Pacific time?”
I stared at the screen and whispered:
“Pacific.”
In My Sister’s Car:
She bought an emergency seatbelt cutter…
Keeps it in the trunk.
Peak survival prep.
At the Liquor Store:
Clerk says: “Buy one case, get 10% off.”
We grab two.
She smiles:
“Oh! That’s 10% + 10%... you get 20% off!”
We nodded and welcomed our new accountant.
At the Airport:
Me: “My bags never showed up.”
Her: “Don’t worry. Now… has your plane landed yet?”
Me: “…Ma’am?”
Her: “Come back after you land.”
Copy that, tower.
At the Pizza Place:
Guy orders a small pizza.
Cook: “Cut into 4 or 6 slices?”
He ponders, then says:
“Better make it 4. I’m not that hungry.”
The Moral?
They’re everywhere.
In schools. At stores. Behind customer service desks.
They walk among us… and they vote.
At Walmart:
Cashier rings up my total: $46.64.
I hand her a crisp $50 bill.
She looks me dead in the eye… and gives me back $46.64.
Me: “Uh… I think there’s a mistake.”
Her: “Sir, I am educated. I know what I’m doing.”
She pushes the money back like I’m trying to scam her.
So, I did what any responsible adult would do…
I walked out with $46.64 in change. They walk among us.
At Starbucks:
I handed the barista a Buy-One-Get-One-Free coupon.
She stared at it like it was the Rosetta Stone… then glanced at the chalkboard that read “Buy One, Get One Free.”
Her eyes lit up:
“Oh! That means… they’re both free!”
I didn’t argue. I just walked out… double-fisting my victory.
On the Beach:
Friend points dramatically:
“Look! A dead bird!”
Another friend looks up and asks:
“Where?!”
I… had no words.
At a House Viewing:
My brother asks which way is north so the sunrise won’t hit his window.
Agent thinks hard:
“Wait… does the sun rise in the north?”
She was… not joking.
“I don’t really keep up with all that stuff.”
Sun? Geography? Optional.
At the Call Center:
Guy calls and asks:
“What hours are you open?”
Me: “24/7, sir.”
Him: “Okay… but is that Eastern or Pacific time?”
I stared at the screen and whispered:
“Pacific.”
In My Sister’s Car:
She bought an emergency seatbelt cutter…
Keeps it in the trunk.
Peak survival prep.
At the Liquor Store:
Clerk says: “Buy one case, get 10% off.”
We grab two.
She smiles:
“Oh! That’s 10% + 10%... you get 20% off!”
We nodded and welcomed our new accountant.
At the Airport:
Me: “My bags never showed up.”
Her: “Don’t worry. Now… has your plane landed yet?”
Me: “…Ma’am?”
Her: “Come back after you land.”
Copy that, tower.
At the Pizza Place:
Guy orders a small pizza.
Cook: “Cut into 4 or 6 slices?”
He ponders, then says:
“Better make it 4. I’m not that hungry.”
They’re everywhere.
In schools. At stores. Behind customer service desks.
They walk among us… and they vote.
Offline
If anyone is a member of Hagarty Driver’s Club, the latest magazine has two interesting articles on the subject. A school in Indianapolis is teaching high scrollers to resurrect a 1951 Chevy. The second article is aptly titled, “the restoration crisis is building”.
Great magazine in general - plus the towing benefits, I’m happy with my annual $75.
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Trouble is fake IDs are so cheap nowadays
Somewhere along I-95, just shy of the South Carolina line, a Georgia State Trooper pulls over a speeding car.
Trooper:
“Sir, any reason you were going so fast?”
Driver:
“I’m a magician and a juggler! I’ve got a show tonight—I can’t be late!”
The Trooper raises an eyebrow.
“A juggler, huh? I’ve always wanted to see that. Tell you what—give me a quick show and maybe… no ticket.”
Driver:
“I’d love to, but all my juggling gear is already at the venue.”
The Trooper grins, “No worries—I’ve got flares in my trunk.”
Next thing you know, the driver is juggling three flaming highway flares by the side of the interstate, putting on a fiery roadside performance like he’s auditioning for America’s Got Talent: Patrol Edition.
Just then, another car pulls up.
Out stumbles a South Carolina good ol’ boy, clearly a few drinks deep.
He stares at the fire-juggling madness in silence…
Then calmly walks over to the patrol car, opens the back door, and gets in.
The Trooper rushes over.
“Sir, what are you doing?!”
The man sighs deeply and says:
“Just take me to jail, officer.
Ain’t NO WAY I’m passin’ that sobriety test.”
Trooper:
“Sir, any reason you were going so fast?”
Driver:
“I’m a magician and a juggler! I’ve got a show tonight—I can’t be late!”
The Trooper raises an eyebrow.
“A juggler, huh? I’ve always wanted to see that. Tell you what—give me a quick show and maybe… no ticket.”
Driver:
“I’d love to, but all my juggling gear is already at the venue.”
The Trooper grins, “No worries—I’ve got flares in my trunk.”
Just then, another car pulls up.
Out stumbles a South Carolina good ol’ boy, clearly a few drinks deep.
He stares at the fire-juggling madness in silence…
Then calmly walks over to the patrol car, opens the back door, and gets in.
The Trooper rushes over.
“Sir, what are you doing?!”
The man sighs deeply and says:
“Just take me to jail, officer.
Ain’t NO WAY I’m passin’ that sobriety test.”
Online
AngliaGT
Great Pumpkin
Offline
Hot Babes in'63.
Online